Young Parents: Taking and running with the news of pregnancy

 

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It goes without saying that, if you’re under 20 and you’ve announced that you’re having a baby to the world, for the most part, people will often give you a concerned look and ask “should I say congratulations?”. Although these conversations can be humorous, it is still considered very taboo when young people decide to move forward into parenthood before what most people would consider “they’re ready”.

I remember very specifically the Thursday morning I drove to the doctors looking for answers as to why  I was experiencing extreme cramping for the last 4 days. I felt nervous, mostly because I had no idea what could be wrong, but I also felt like I just knew. In fact I even texted my mum saying that I had felt more nervous than your routine check up. Of course when you have a gut feeling, you have a gut feeling. 20 minutes later I was very nervously discussing with my doctor how on earth I was going to tell my family that I was pregnant.

It’s really quite sad that the first thing that comes to a young girls mind when she finds out that she’s pregnant is “what is everyone going to say/think?”. The mechanisms of society have almost trained people to look at young pregnancy as ‘they weren’t careful enough’ and ‘they’re going to miss out on a lot of things normal young people get to experience’. And it goes without saying that everyone has probably thought this at least once or twice. When in reality it should be nothing but thoughts of love sent their way.

The first few days can be shocking and hard, mostly because it’s so difficult to imagine how drastically your life is going to change as of a few days ago. I often found myself thinking I could have done more to stop myself from being in this situation, and worried an awful lot more than I should have about what everyone else in my life was going to think. The best advice I can offer in this difficult time, to anyone experiencing  it, is to go straight to your partner and family, as soon as you can. I told my boyfriend as soon as I arrived home from the doctors, and my mum and dad that very same day. I couldn’t imagine going through the emotional rollercoaster I went through in those first 24 hours without the support and love I received from those people.

Give yourself time, I can’t express how important this was for me. Sit down and cry if you need to, laugh, yell… do everything you need to do to get a grip on reality. You’ll find that once you’ve given yourself this time, things don’t seem as upside-down as they did when you first found out. For us it was a beautiful transition between the shock of the news and the pure love and happiness of the future that awaits us. We went for a walk along the waters edge at the beach near our house together, and instead of asking all the hard questions we made a promise to grace ourselves with all of the beautiful reasons that this little one was going to change our life. This positivity really helped us when it came to telling other members of our family later on in the pregnancy, and since then, have only had love and support sent our way.

Above all else I found that during this time, it is the perfect time to be selfish (in the most positive way possible) and to truly think about what is best for you. Not what is best for your parents, grandparents, friends, friends of friends… you get the picture. Ultimately you get to decide what you want to do with your life, and you are the only one that can make that a beautiful positive picture or a negative one. The peanut gallery will always be there, though will very likely say nothing negative to your face, it is your thoughts of what their opinions are that have power over you. You can chose to spend most days thinking that people are disappointed in you, or are judging you, but you can also chose to focus on only the positive things to lift you up and become a better person from the experience whether you decide to continue with the pregnancy or not. Pregnancy is natural and beautiful, no matter what age you are and most importantly it is always your choice, in every single essence of the word.

 

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10 thoughts on “Young Parents: Taking and running with the news of pregnancy

  1. Emily, I am so, so proud of you – this post is nothing short of beautiful. I remember being kids and exploring Moura (and our backyards) together, watching our mums have steaming hot cups of coffee together – and to think you’re expecting a little one and will experience this all over again for yourself is nothing short of magnificently exciting! Sending all my love, Renée Myring xx
    (p.s. welcome to the world of blogging!)

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    1. Thank you so much Renée! I honestly teared up a little remembering how much fun we had as little ones, it is so hard to believe that I soon will have my own little one. I am so incredibly excited though. I’ve been wanting to join the world of blogging for a long while, I just never knew where to start, but I feel as though I’ve begun on the right foot. Your beautiful encouraging words mean the world to me. I’m so thankful that Moura has given me such a beautiful kind-hearted friend.
      Love always, Emily xo

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  2. Honestly I don’t think i’ve heard anyone say anything other than “Holy!” And ” If anyone can rock this, those two can”. You’re going to be such a wonderful parent :* So happy for you that you’ve got such great support around you. Xx

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  3. Congratulations to you Emily and Daniel on your most exciting news ever. Dale and I are super proud of you both! You are so wise, you know, we worry far too much about what other people have to say and think!! I recall being crazy stressed when we fell pregnant with our little guy Roly, he was no. 7 and was arriving 12 months after the arrival of his older brother. Aargh!! People thought we were mad and were so not afraid to tell us!! You know what though, I would never change it, and you guys will never ever regret the decision you have made. I wish more young girls (and guys) could see this awesome blog of yours. You are a true inspiration, young lady!! ❤️ Dale and Linda xoxo

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    1. Thank you so much!!
      It’s so beautiful to have the love and support that we have had from lovely people like you! There definitely is so much stigma around parenting in general, let alone young parenting. You’re so right about it being a decision that we will never regret. We already have so much love in our hearts for someone we have never met.

      Thank you so much again for your beautiful words of support, they mean so much to us

      Love always, Emily and Daniel xoxo

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  4. Congrats on this wonderful journey that awaits you!! I hope you have a smooth pregnancy and safe delivery. And indeed people say a lot of negative things when they find out you’re pregnant at a young age, I guess it’s because they have their own expectations of you but who cares. Do you!

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