If you’re a woman, from any walk of life, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about when I talk about mood swings. One minute everything is sunshine and flowers, cuddly toys and unicorns but the minute anyone playfully mentions something rude, mean or otherwise, an utter rage engulfs your body in flames and you fight against every urge in your body not to gouge their eyes out with a spoon. And any mother would know that this is only 40x more relevant in pregnancy.
Some days are good and some days are bad… When they’re good they’re pretty good, but when they’re bad they’re downright awful. Awful in the sense that you literally loath every human being on the planet, driving is a game who am I going to honk my horn at next (because clearly every driver on the road is an imbecile, besides you), every conversation you have to have with a person you’d rather not be speaking to makes you want to rip your hair out, and don’t even get me started on the volume of the swearing when you accidentally end up hurting yourself because you’re so distracted with being angry that you become a clumsy idiot.
I’m going to be totally honest, some days I feel like a literal time bomb, just waiting for the trigger word to explode on a catastrophic scale. And being worn out doesn’t help a tiny bit. If I could sleep all damn day I would. But the days when the fatigue isn’t quite as bad, and the mood swings aren’t taking over my life, those are the days when the most beautiful thing I’ve ever experienced happens, pure and utter love.
Love for this beautiful little person growing inside me, getting stronger with every sip of water I take, every breath of air I breathe. Love for my partner Daniel, and his un-dividing affection, his strength in stepping up and becoming this incredible young man, an incredible father to someone who doesn’t even know or can say his name yet. Love for my friends and family, for being so utterly selfless in their words and actions in supporting us. Love for my body, for being the beautiful life-giving temple that it is and still managing to get me through the long shifts at work and at times restless nights.
The mood swings and fatigue are certainly hard, and I’m sure so many people can relate to how it feels just to be worn out, emotional and almost feel defeated. But, even if you’re not pregnant and feeling these things, it is so damn important to remember that with the bad, always comes the good there are so many beautiful reasons to push past the hard things and to find the utter love hidden within your life (And not to gouge peoples’ eyes out with spoons).