Third Trimester Tantrum: 8 things you are OVER by the end of pregnancy


Isn’t carrying life beautiful? The kicks, the glow, the joy of bringing another little human into the world who is half of you and half the person you love.

Well yes and no. All throughout pregnancy there are ups and downs, but pretty much all women (besides the blessed) get to around the end half of the third trimester and absolutely spit the dummy. They’re tired, they’re swollen, they’re cranky and in their minds, they’re utterly done. 

I’ve compiled a list of 8 pregnancy related things that I’m currently done with, in hopes someone, another mother, mother to be, or just anyone really, might find it a little funny. Mostly because right now, I’m completely losing my mind.  


1. Not being able to see my feet

or tie up my shoes, or shave my legs, or pick up things I drop. Basically from the hip downward is “out of bounds”,”no go zone”, “restricted area”. And yes in the beginning it’s funny, people pick things up for you and even tie your shoes for you (princess or what?). But as I’ve found out, asking your partner to shave your bikini line for you, after the 10th time, is no longer glamourous nor funny. You miss your independence! And god, being able to go for a walk without getting someone to tie up your laces.

2. Heartburn

I no longer am experiencing heartburn as Bub dropped a LOT further about a week ago. But I tell you what up until now, since I was probably 30 weeks I had not enjoyed a single meal. And I say this in all seriousness. After all how can one enjoy a meal when they feel it creeping back up their asophagus after 3 bites. 


3. Mood swings
Men, if you think your partner is bad during her “week”, then you just wait until she’s been a walking incubator for YOUR child for the last 8 months. Her hormones are through the roof, and for the most part, in her eyes it’s your fault. I’m not sure what anyone else experienced mood wise during this part of their pregnancy, but I’m pretty much either deliriously happy or a sobbing mess. And on the odd occasion when I’m cranky I usually just nap it off (lucky Dan right? though he’s probably sick of the tears by now). Living life never knowing if you’re about to cry or laugh gets old, reaaaalllly quickly.

4. Cramps

Cramps in your feet, cramps in your calves, cramps in your back. You’re basically a giant knotted muscle. And delightfully they only tend to happen when you least expect it. Ie, you’re asleep, just about to stand up, or mid stride. When you’re off guard and unsuspecting they usually lead to a unintentional yelp which causes an awful lot of concern from the people around you “are you okay? sh*t, is the baby coming? Did your waters break?”.  No, I’ve just been shot in the calf and can’t walk, but it’s fine…

5. Braxton Hicks Contractions (BHC)

Whoever Braxton Hicks is must have been a real bastard in life to have pre-labour cramps named after him. Up until about now BHC are fairly manageable, they’re short, sweet and usually only happen around 2-3 times a day. For me though, I’ve gotten to the stage now that for the last couple of weeks they happen more often, they’re more painful and honestly just down right bloody awful. Any mum that experienced them in this way will know, you either want them to get worse (and labour to actually progress) or you want them to kindly f*** off. Sitting up until 1am not really being sure if you’re in labour or not for 3 nights in a row isn’t and never will be fun.

6. Being the Sober Driver

I’m not, and never have been a big drinker. Ask anyone who’s whitnessed it, excessive amounts of alcohol and me don’t mix. But do you remember when you were a kid and your parents told you you couldn’t have something, and it just made you want it even more? Welcome to the life of a pregnant Mumma at any alcohol related social event ever. You don’t even want to get drunk, you just want a damn glass of wine to take the bloody edge off being around people who are drinking. I mean there are studies that say you can have just one… but honestly when you’ve got a little one inside of you, you become insanely protective. And that includes not just “giving in” and having a glass. Because come on guys, drunk babies are not okay. No matter what anyone says.

7. Opinions

And no I’m not talking about the well intended opinions from people who are already parents. I’m talking about the so called “parenting advice” you receive from people who either A. Have never had children or been pregnant themselves. B. Are physically incapable of having children (yes men, you). C. People who tell you you should or shouldn’t be doing something that you’ve already said you do or don’t want to do. Hello, people… it’s kind to ask if someone wants advice on something, and better yet it’s kind to actually know what you’re talking about before giving it as advice. It’s pretty simple really though, if you’re sharing advice good on you, but if you’re sharing your opinion for the sake of displaying that you know better than the expecting parents, its best then not to say anything at all. 

8. Needing to pee. Always

During the third trimester you come to realise, very quickly, that your bladder space has indeed been compromised. And even more so when a certain little someone decides to get friendly with your bladder with quick and swift elbow or kick, causing you to lose all control and wet your pants. Liners for this reason have probably been your best friend for months. And I tell you what you’ll be very very done with them by third trimester.

So there it is. 8 things I’m done with. 3 weeks left (technically) give or take. Let’s hope I survive… otherwise a lot more than a ranty blog post will be in order. Honestly though, we all know it’ll be worth it when you see that little face for the very first time. Because all the pregnancy crap in the world could never overshadow the fact that your life has been completely changed forever by someone you’ve only just met. And I bet you already can’t take your eyes off of them.

Our moment is coming. And I can’t wait.

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Bump Update: Week 36

Ask any expectant mother what she thinks of the final trimester and she’ll probably swear at you, and then cry while peeing herself a little bit (but only enough that she won’t notice until she goes to the toilet later and wonders why her underwear is abnormally wet). 36 weeks is exactly a month from “due date”, though usually from 37 weeks onward you’re considered “full term” and therefore are probably thinking f*** the due date.

And indeed I am thinking f*** the due date. Until this week, we had a beautiful little holiday planned- so I was desperately crossing my legs in order to have our holiday before we have a baby. And now that the holiday is over and I’m sitting at home, slightly peeling from sunburn and 100% guaranteed uncomfortable, I want this babe OUT. Everything hurts, my back, my ever-cramping legs (that only seem to cramp in the middle of the night when I’m trying to sleep), my ribs, my head and don’t even get me started on lightning crotch (look it up if you’re unaware of what it is, you’ll probably wince in pain just reading about it if you’re female. And probably even if you’re male).

It’s this part of pregnancy that makes you truly sympathetic toward the poor women who run past their date. Ladies- I love and respect you so much. You’re bloody champions. Though it also makes you thankful to have a pregnancy run smooth enough to reach full term, because there is no doubt there are ladies out there that don’t get to take their wee ones home because of how early they are born, and they also are so so strong and admirable.

For me, this last month has held many sneaky little surprises from our little girl. A little over 2 weeks ago I lost my mucus plug- yes, ew sounds gross, but if you’re a mum or know anything about pregnancy you’ll know this could be a big deal but could also mean nothing at all as they can and are known to regenerate themselves. I’ve also had a few braxton hicks contractions that have been a LOT more intense than what I’m used to. Though these things have certainly made me a little more on guard, for the sake of not getting overly excited only to be disappointed, I haven’t been too hopeful of these being signs that labour may be near, because we all know that it could also be very far. Babies come when they’re ready! And not a moment before.

Update on the name, we’ve picked it! How exciting! Hint- 3 syllables. That’s all you’re getting hint wise though! And honestly I’m so glad we’re keeping it between ourselves until she’s born. It’s like our own beautiful little secret. The name is really special to us both, just like she already is really really special to us. And I’d suggest not trying to guess, or if you are going to guess don’t bother asking us because we aren’t going to crack- it’s our pact together to keep it from you all *evil laugh*. Trust us though, it’s beautiful and probably the furthest from tacky you can get so not to worry, we’re definitely not that far into odd names.

The last few visits with the midwife have been pleasant and hopeful, though today I’ve been told that my iron levels are still continuing to drop, which is not bad news for baby but more so bad news for me in a sense of labour, birth and recovery. For obvious reasons, including the fact that most women tend to lose a lot of blood during labour, and having less iron than usual can lead to exhaustive recovery and difficulty breast feeding (not what I want to hear). So I’ve taken it upon myself to up my iron intake again (have already been on iron tablets) to double, including tablet form as well a whole food form. So hopefully I can increase my levels before the birth. *if any ladies have had issues with this in their own pregnancies I’d love to hear from you about how you went about solving the issue for yourself*

Maternity leave has been pleasant. Foxtel has been my best friend thus far, as well as ducted air conditioning and the comfy cloud sac (they’re incredible- I’ll put a photo below if you don’t know what I’m talking about. A pregnant ladies best friend. So shout out to my mother-in-law Dee for being awesome enough to own one! I promise to try not to let my waters go on it 😉 ). Surprisingly I haven’t been too lonely, even the days I’m home alone the animals keep me company, well as much as an overly crazy pupper, two sneaky cats and a couple of fishies can. As well as the often and welcome calls from my mum, keeping my reassured and as sane as I can be while my insides are being kickboxed. 

My appetite has been up and down. Fruit, as it always has been, is my favourite thing. Beyond that it’s anything sweet or whatever I seem to be craving (even Big Macs at 1am, shoutout to my incredible partner Dan for being so understanding and taking me through their drive through last Thursday at 1am, I love you more than words can describe) 

Really our little one could be here any day now, or it could be weeks. We’re still just as excited as we always have been. If not more. As long as she’s happy and healthy we’ll be completely content with whenever she arrives. Stay posted though guys! You never know, our next post might just be of a tiny little face and a heart swelling with love and admiration. 💕💕💕

Our little trip away to Burleigh Heads 🌊☀️ 

The cloud sac (I was about 34 weeks in this photo)

Bump Update: Week 35


So now we’re here! 5 weeks to go, give or take. We’re feeling excited, ambitious and also just quietly, we’re shitting our pants. I honestly feel like being pregnant is one of those things (at least the first time around) that you get so used to waiting you tend to forget that something real and beautiful is going to happen at the end of it all. 9 months is an awful long time, but at the same time in comparison to the length of a persons life, it’s as an awfully short amount of time. Yet somehow a tiny little human is created and fully equipped to live in the outside world within that time.

Our list of names has finally gotten shorter, and recent developments lead me to believe that maybe, just maybe, we might have picked a name! (Maybe) We’ll see what happens the day she gets here I suppose. And yes, everyone is still trying to get us to call her Poppy, and no we have not and will not give in! The nickname Poppy is absolutely gorgeous, and we’ll probably still use it while she’s cute and little, but the name we pick will be more suited to a person of all ages whilst still being beautiful and elegant.

Busy busy busy pretty much sums up the most part of our lives the last couple of months! If you know us well, you’ll know we recently moved houses (not far from where we used to live- same suburb) into a new area of development. It’s beautiful, and what’s even more beautiful is the fact that we now know this is the house we’ll be bringing our daughter home to. Last weekend we had our baby shower, which was also nothing short of amazing, seeing so much love and support coming from our family and friends is truly the greatest feeling.

Her nursery is in the midst of being set up (it’s an absolute pigsty) and I’m hoping that the nesting instinct kicks in soon because at the moment, even though I’m on maternity leave, I’m pretty unmotivated to wash 5000 different little outfits, blankets, socks and everything else! I keep telling myself tomorrow, so hopefully one day it will happen before she’s born. 

We’ve had a couple of things happen that have kind of kicked our arses into gear about making sure our bags are ready for the hospital- just a couple of things that sometimes mean labour is near but so far we’re still all good- and definitely have our bags packed! We’re going on a little getaway with some close friends of ours next weekend, so I keep telling myself I don’t mind if she comes early, just not before our holiday! So far only 4 days to get through before we’re there so it’s not too long to hold my legs crossed!

Over all I think reality is definitely starting to sink in, for the both of us. I take more notice of the cramps here and there, Dan is always checking on me like the gentleman he is, and I think I give my mother a heart attack every time she gets a missed call from me (sorry mum). Nothing is swelling (besides the obvious stomach) which has been a pleasant surprise for me because I fully expected it by now. I have however been dealing with a little bit of pregnancy insomnia, crampy legs and heartburn, nothing I can’t handle though. It’s so odd because no matter how much pain I seem to be in, I’ve never felt so much love or respect for my body, and I feel incredibly blessed to be able to carry a little tiny human inside of me. And I still can’t believe that soon she will be with us! 

A happy snap from our shower last Sunday 
Her cradle which was my mothers when she was a baby, mine when I was a baby and now little baby cooks 💕🎀

And another selfie because Mumma can’t resist