Here We Go Again!

So today, on the 26th of March 2018 (my best friends 21st birthday) we found out that we are in fact, expecting our second child…That honestly feels so strange to type.

For a couple of months now we have been thinking about a second baby. Seeing so many of my friends almost arriving at their due date for their first child and even a few announce the pregnancy of their second, it has definitely been on my mind. My hesitations were all laid within superficial things really, like wanting to get plastered for my impending 21st at the end of the year and wanting exactly 2 years between babies for no particular reason other than it sounded nice to say.

I think Dan has been ready for a while. And by a while I mean, at least 4 or so months. But if i’m honest I only really became okay with the idea of it within the last couple of months. We’ve never been about ‘trying’ obviously, so we’ve just taken the “if it happens, it happens” approach.

Ultimately I really want to bring a sibling into the world for Vi. I feel like she would be an amazing big sister. Though a little voice inside my head has been saying “maybe it’s too soon”, I feel like that little voice would probably have reached me regardless of how long we waited. And there are always going to be emotions of self doubt and even a little fear… it is a huge thing after all. But I know we are ready. We’ve had a plan in place for a little while, and now it’s time to implement it.

It is honestly weird to start this journey all over in a different mindset. I remember this moment with Violet, alone in the doctors surgery being told I was pregnant. It rocked me to my core. But this time it was so simple and so much less scary.

I’ve been feeling off for a couple of days, nothing hugely significant but still, different to my usual self. (TMI Warning) I noticed about 2 weeks ago that my nipples were a bit sensitive, I kind of just pinned it down to Violet teething again but still thought it was strange. And around the same time I noticed a bunch of really painful bind pimples on my back and chest which is abnormal for me and also happened in my first pregnancy so that was another little sign.

Something completely different to the first though I have noticed is my mood. I shrugged off the other signs because I have been SO incredibly grumpy, which is usually a huge sign for me that my period is on her way. But even more so than usual. I’ve been an emotional wreck, crying over silly things, getting infuriatingly mad over others… I just thought I was having bad pre PMS. But I was wrong, and here we are. Starting this incredible journey all over again for the second time.

Am I worried? Yes and no. I mean, pregnancy is such an unpredictable journey, and of course there will be ups and downs but I don’t doubt our ability to pull through it all just like we did with the last. My biggest concern is probably Violet, our precious little Vi. Of course I have been told that the love that comes for the second is just as prominent as the first, but of course right now that is hard to imagine. She is my world. But I also can’t wait to give her the absolute joy of a sibling. I just worry over her confusion and possible jealousy, but I am really hoping the love she will have for her sibling comes through stronger than any of the other emotions she will go through.

Our precious Vi really is growing up, and to think of her as becoming a big sister is so hart warming. I’m still in awe. In 9 months we will become a family of four. Hold on tight  guys, it’s going to be a rollercoaster that no one wants to get off.

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