I’ve chosen not to document the past few weeks, mainly because they’ve been very very challenging for me. And also because I’ve certainly shared my fair share of doom and gloom on this page about morning sickness. Lets just say that this time around was a LOT worse than what I experienced with Vi and we’ll leave it at that.
Here we are now at around about the ten week mark and my days are certainly more joy filled then they have been for a few months. Violet is always a happy little girl, so I do feel like she has made this journey as easy as it could possibly be for someone struggling to keep any food down at all for a number of months.
Our close family and friends are now in the know and have been for a couple of weeks! I really do think that sharing your news makes dealing with the difficult things easier to manage. My parents were overjoyed when Violet handed them her book “You’re a big sister”, Mum gave me this look of confusion that almost immediately turned to squeals of joy, and Dad gave me the smirk he often gives people when he’s trying not to seem too excited (when he really is).
I’ll be honest, it all doesn’t seem real yet. Even though I’m throwing up and not really fitting into my jeans anymore. I guess it always seems to be one of the things in life that don’t really feel real until you’re holding your little newborn in your arms… And sometimes it still doesn’t feel real after that. Heck, some days I look at my one year old and think… “holy sh*t, I’m your MUM”. But there is joy and happiness all the same, regardless of realism.
My biggest challenges at the moment always seem to be the most simple tasks. Changing Vi’s bottom is a real struggle, especially when she conveniently seems to poo directly after I’ve eaten, meaning I lose the entire meal I just had the minute I finish changing her nappy. And the little things like going to the park or taking the washing off the line really steal a lot of my energy. With that follows the bit of guilt that I’m not able to keep vi fully occupied all the time. She is a great little independent player though so again, she makes things that bit easier for me.
We’ve nicknamed this little one Bean and I’m keeping up with Bean’s size on the Baby Centre app once again, and a new app I’ve found called Ovia. Ovia has much the same concept as baby centre (size comparisons, articles etc) but offers a little bit more insight into the actual size of your teeny tiny baby by showing you exactly how small their hands and feet would be if you could see them. It’s all a bit novel, but it reminds me every day to take a little time to think about the little one inside of me while we’re so busy being a family on the outside.
I am really relieved that I’m starting to feel a lot better, being more motivated and positive is so much easier when you’re not throwing up hourly.