The Hazy Days: Getting through the first month with a newborn

There is no doubt about it, bringing a child into the world will be one of the most incredible and most exhausting things you will ever experience in your life. I’d consider myself a bit of an old hand at it now, having done it twice, but that would mean I know what I’m doing. And let’s be honest, none of us do!

There are a few little things I’ve come across in my experiences that have at least made things a little easier. Hopefully this can help at one or two people out in their journey to parenthood, I know I wish I had read something like this before I had my girls!

Be Lenient

This is a skill you’ll soon learn very quickly. But knowing you’ll have to be before the time comes does make the pill a little easier to swallow. In childbirth, the early days, into toddlerhood and no doubt beyond. There will be times when things don’t go to plan, you’ll need to be prepared not let go of your expectations and go with the flow.

Sleep when your baby sleeps

I can’t stress this enough. Guests present or not, you need to rest. Take every moment you can to get that rest, you’ll be all the better parent for it

One word, SWADDLE

Your baby is used to being all tucked up inside your very comfy uterus. Once out, their natural startle reflex can be confusing and more often than not will startle your baby out of their sleep. In my circumstances at least anyway, I found swaddling an unsettled baby really helped calm them down and keep them asleep for longer. I highly suggest the ergo swaddles or the Love to Dream, zippers are your friend. Traditional swaddles are fine of course, but when you have a Houdini on our hands, a zip could mean all the difference in the amount of sleep you get.

Don’t be afraid to do the (safe) things you said you wouldn’t

So what, you SAID you’d never use a dummy, or you’d not co-sleep, or you wouldn’t pick your baby up too much? Whatever feels right once your baby is here, so long as it is safe, is okay to do. Don’t beat yourself up over promises your non-parent self made… you were exactly that, NOT a parent. Sometimes doing those things you’d said you’d never do, helps more than you could imagine.

Be okay with saying “no”

If you’re anything like me, “no” is hardly in your vocabulary. But for sanity sake, if you need to refuse visitors, or refuse unsolicited advice, DO IT. Your baby, your time, your body… You just had a baby! Do not feel bad for putting your needs before others. And don’t feel bad about refusing advice that doesn’t suit the way you want to parent.

Take a moment for you as often as you can

It’s easy to get wrapped up in the world of a new baby. Don’t forget to take those moments to have a shower and just breathe. Wash your hair, shave your legs, clean your face… or whatever you like to do that makes you feel human. If someone is around get them to watch the baby for that time, or even if someone isn’t, I used to drag the tummy time mat into the bathroom and put Violet on it so I could have a couple of “mummy moments” to myself. They really are so imperative. You need to look after yourself just as much as you need to look after your baby

Talk when you’re not okay

There will be tough days, plenty of them. The hormones that surge your body after having a baby are beyond crazy, and they can leave you feeling anything but yourself for a while. Remember that it’s ok to feel the negative feelings sometimes, and it doesn’t make you a bad parent. Reach out as often as you can, you’ll find that a LOT of other people have gone through what you’re going through, you’re not alone. And if you do feel as though your feelings are beyond “just hormones” PLEASE seek help, you’re entirely worthy of receiving it, and you will always be worthy of happiness.

Walk away for a minute

Babies can cry for long periods of time, at times it can make you feel a little insane. If you’re having trouble coping or feeling frustrated, pop them down somewhere safe, like their cot, and walk away for a moment to somewhere you can’t hear them, only for a few moments. Just enough to breathe and remind yourself that this won’t be forever, they won’t cry forever. There will be peace and quiet again, just breathe mama, it’ll be okay.

Take all the photos, and spam all of your socials as much as you like. Your baby is beautiful and they’re all yours! Enjoy every moment, soak in that newborn smell and take comfort in knowing that that little baby is and always will be yours.

Xo Emily @ Loving Little One

Advertisements

Bittersweet Babyhood

These are the days, where we long for sleep and the simplest of tasks seem to take us half the week.

Where our patience tests us (our toddlers too), we wonder if we’re ever doing enough, and surely we do?

To keep them busy,

To keep them happy,

To fill their day with fun.

Whilst we feed, and we burp and we rock to sleep the newest little person, so little, like they were once.

With so much to do, and so little time, it’s a constant fear of missing the little things that often fills our minds.

So, I sit, a little longer than I should. One on my knee and one right beside.

I read three or four books more, even when she’s sleepy eyed.

We play outside a little bit passed dinner, and bath time is often a little bit late.

But our bellies are always full and there are always more games to play.

They’re only little for such a short time. And my heart grows a little heavy when I think about how they won’t always be little and by my side.

Though, that’s the bitter sweetness of it all, some day they’ll have their own little hands to hold.

So, for now I treasure every moment, cuddles and tantrums alike. And when I’m stuck on the couch for the fiftieth time with a baby that won’t settle and a toddler with an attitude as large as mine…

I’ll remember that these moments only last a very short while and no matter how big they get, they’ll forever be my babies- just like I am to those parents of mine.

Xo Emily @ LovingLittleOne.com

Matilda Joan: My Second Natural Childbirth Story

I struggle to find the words to justify just how incredibly lucky I feel to be sitting down to write something so positive in regards to childbirth again. I really truly thought you couldn’t possibly be so lucky twice. Perhaps it’s the stigma around childbirth, and the “scary” that is portrayed as the norm. Or maybe I was just doubly nervous because it was no longer just me and the baby to stress over but also our Violet as well.

But here I am, having made it to the other side of the waiting, sitting in awe of the human body and all of its capabilities. As well as in awe of the tiny little human we’ve created that somehow has filled our hearts with twice the amount of love we thought possible.

The real story of my labours always seem to begin in the lead up. Just like with Violet I spent a large chunk of the weeks prior very uncomfortable; experiencing early labour. Constant tightenings that I was unsure of being Braxton-Hicks Contractions or real ones, for days on end. Nausea hit me like a ton of bricks once or twice as well, which caught me by surprise as it had never happened with Violet. I could just SENSE things were moving along, but the frustration lay within the not knowing. Was I close? Would my waters break first again? If they don’t how will I know I’m in labour?

I had had a couple of really, really tough nights in the week before. Going to bed with pains thinking for certain I would wake up in labour, and then being slightly disappointed when I didn’t. At the time it felt like I was experiencing all of this pain and discomfort for nothing as nothing had progressed.

Despite it all, I really tried to focus on this pregnancy being completely seperate and different to my pregnancy with Violet. Having already been through it once does give you a certain feeling of expectation, one I very much tried to avoid. Because Violet had made her entrance by 37 and a half weeks, a small part of me expected this pregnancy to be the same, and a large part of me was tired and over it by the time 37 and a half weeks came and went. We knew she would come when she was ready though, so I spent a lot of my time distracting myself and trying to be at peace with the fact that I couldn’t control when she would be born. And pretty much as soon as I relaxed and accepted this I felt much better, at least mentally.

It wasn’t long after the acceptance (sounds dramatic right?) when things really started to heat up. It was like my body had finally had a chance to relax and so she knew it was time.

Pains through the night was nothing unusual for me at this point, but on Tuesday night (13/11/18) I found myself up at a really odd hour on the toilet. Toilet trips of course were also nothing new, but things felt different. And about 30 minutes later I lost my mucus plug. I didn’t think too much of it, as I’d already lost pieces of it the week prior, so I chucked a liner on and went back to bed. Funnily enough, Vi had also woken (which is unusual for her) so she was lying in bed with Dan, as I hopped back into bed with them I’d told him I lost my plug.

When we woke up on Wednesday morning Dan mentioned how he’d had a weird dream that I’d said I’d lost my plug, and we had a laugh over the fact that it wasn’t a dream. That’s when I noticed more pressure down below than I’d noticed before.

I tried to go about the day as normally as possible, I didn’t want to get my hopes up as I’d done the week prior, so we went into town to take Vi to the Drs and then went for a browse around the shops. While we were there I noticed the pressure worsening, and whilst Dan was in a store I took Vi to the parents room so I could change her and go to the toilet myself. (This might be tmi so skip over if you don’t like talk of bodily fluids) I realised that I had been having slightly brown discharge throughout the day, but noticed it more so this time as there was more and more of it.

At this point, it was the first time I’d thought to ring the maternity unit. My waters broke before anything had begun with Violet, so I really didn’t know what to expect of labour beginning any other way. They’d said it was normal, especially if I’d lost my plug and that things may progress but there was no reason to come to the ward.

Again, trying to continue the day as normal we headed to squash for the evening. I noticed how uncomfortable I was beginning to feel, not with tightenings or anything, but just feeling “off”. Mum and dad had offered to take Violet to their place in case things progressed during the night but I didn’t want to jinx it, so we brought her home with us.

I’d had regular pains start pretty much as soon as we’d eaten dinner. But they weren’t strong enough to feel confident that it was actual labour beginning. So we did the bedtime routine with Violet, and we watched some of “that 70s show” just in case things heated up, but they didn’t, so we took ourselves off to bed at about 9:30.

I woke up at midnight to slightly heavier contractions, to the point where I couldn’t sleep through them. So I got up and timed them for an hour or so to see if it was worth ringing the ward again, I cleaned the kitchen at the same time for something to do, mainly because I didn’t want to come back from having a baby to a messy house hahaha.

(About 1am on the 15th- in labour)

My contractions with Violet never really regulated properly, and they didn’t this time around either. But they did get more intense, so I phoned in to let them know things were progressing. And of course right after I did, they tapered off. As frustrating as it was, I was a little relieved. I was able to take some Panadol to take the edge off and sleep for another 4 hours until 5am.

This time when I woke up I knew things were moving, I had to stop to breathe through each contraction. I gave myself two hours, two hours of comfort at home. I went outside to breathe in the morning air, and then came back inside to make myself some breakfast: scrambled eggs. Half way through, Vi woke up. And I was kind of glad she did. We got a full 40 minutes together, eating eggs and talking about her little sister who was coming to see us soon. Each time a contraction would start I’d hug Vi and tell her how much I loved her, and continue to hold her until it was over. It sounds sappy and cliche but it really truly helped.

(5:45am, labouring with my little love)

After a short while I went to wake Dan up and let him know it was almost time. I rang mum and asked her to come around to watch Vi, and by 7:15 I was ready to make the 20 minute car trip to the hospital. I lapped the house 3 times, procrastinating getting in and making the drive. Mainly because I knew it would be the last time just us three would be in the house. As we drove away, Vi stood in the driveway with nanny waving us off. I was teary, teary because it was my last moments with Vi as an only child, teary because we were about to meet our second beautiful little girl, and teary because well… hormones.

The drive was surprisingly okay. I hated sitting through contractions with Vi, this time it was uncomfortable but not unbearable. Mainly because we didn’t labour at home as long as I did with Violet, just because we didn’t want to risk me giving birth on the side of the road.

We got to the hospital at about 7:45. The bigger rooms were taken and unfortunately the birth pool was too. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed, but I was also just so excited to meet our little girl that it didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would.

So, in our little room with the diffuser running and some calming music on an occasionally skippy CD player, Dan and I sat, paced, bounced and mostly, just chatted our way to meeting our daughter. I think that was my favourite part. It was just Dan and I and an empty room, something that we haven’t had really at all since Violet was born. It was almost like we were giddy teenagers again, he always takes every chance he can to make me laugh, and it was honestly exactly what I needed through those few hours. The contractions were strong and intense, but the pain was almost halved by the fact that I could just stand there in his arms and breathe through the process my body was going through. And even laugh at some points during contractions, which admittedly hurt more, but filled my heart to the brim.

We had an amazing midwife as well who was happy to let us do our own thing, but still checked in enough for us to feel comfortable about my care. At about 11am she came in to do some obs and monitor for a little, just as she finished and as I moved to hop off the bed my waters broke. From here the contractions intensified again. I opted to say put on the exercise ball for a few more contractions before moving to my safe space again- the shower!

She set up some oils and Dan turned on some calming music on his phone, we turned all the lights off and moved the exercise ball in. This was my zone, my place. The space I knew I’d welcome my daughter into the world.

It’s funny, because although this was the exact same position I brought Violet into the world in, it was so different. Instead of feeling out of body, I felt entirely present. Breathing through each contraction and coming up for air each time- with Violet I felt like I was sucked into one long wave of pain with no time to breathe, this was totally different.

I buzzed the midwife in when I felt the incredible pressure I remember feeling before Vi was born, and with 3 contractions and 3 pushes at 12:16pm on Wednesday the 15th of November, our little Matilda Joan was born swiftly into our arms. Into a room so full of love it was almost bursting at the seams.

Mum and dad brought Violet in as soon as Dan let them know Matilda was here. I was euphoric, I didn’t feel exhausted at all. And when Vi came into the room it was like everything I’d ever wished for was right in front of me.

(Completely in love)

I can’t thank Daniel enough for everything he has done and continues to do for us. His love and strength has always been my guiding light and this was even more evident during my labour with Matilda. My world is everything it is because of him. Our girls are the best thing that has ever happened to us, and I am so incredibly grateful to have him by my side through these momentous times, even if he does make me laugh in the middle of a contraction at 9cms dilated.

Xo Emily @ Loving Little One

What’s in my Hospital Bag: Baby Edition

There is a huge amount of information on the internet what you should pack in a hospital bag for baby, when you should pack it, how much of what to pack and what not to pack at all. And although all helpful, I found when I was pregnant with Violet I struggled to find a decent source of information on Australian products, or at least products you could actually buy in Australia.

So, as an Australian mother about to have her second baby, here’s my list of essentials, things you’ll actually put to use and things you’ll definitely be able to buy here down under, whether it be in store or online. And if you’re not from Australia, these are all still products I’ve used and love so if you can get your hands on these things, do try!

This post could get quite long, so if you’re in a hurry, you’ll find the summary of each item in italics underneath my blabbing.

1. Nappies and Wipes

98B4A4BA-330C-44CB-846D-1056F15C2DED.JPG

22DE14D2-9033-4166-943F-A26E7174790F.JPG

I thought it best to begin with the obvious. I can’t remember if the hospital supplied nappies when Violet was born, but even if they did it wasn’t many so you will NEED these (obviously). Generally they suggest at least one packet, two if you want to make extra certain you’ll have enough. When it comes to the type it really is personal preference, every baby responds differently to different types of nappies. Some babies have extra sensitive bottoms, but generally they all get a little rash from having a nappy on for the first time in their existence. I have Huggies Essentails packed for the moment, I’ve tried them with Violet and find them to be quite good quality, I’ve also packed the BabyLove wipes. But as I said, it really is just a case of seeing what works for your baby, I had Aldi Newborn nappies in Vi’s hospital bag and they worked just fine and I don’t remember which wipes I used. As long as they catch the poop and don’t fall apart you’re on the right track!

Pack at LEAST one packet of newborn nappies and a packet of wipes(whatever kind you want)

2. Blankets

8DF31FC8-4916-4264-AE6E-A24B86174FD4.JPG

Now these the hospital DOES supply, so if you’re not fussed on what blanket your little one is wrapped in then you really don’t need to pack any. Personally I like to have a couple of different colours and patterns for photo reasons, and I also love the extra softness. I have two packed, a white waffle type from Designer Bebe in Bamboo Viscose, it feels absolutely heavenly, honestly can’t get enough! And the second is a cream and white striped blanket from Bubba Blue, one side has cute pink animals on it as well. It’s a little thicker, just in case the air conditioning in the hospital is a little cool and lets be real, it’s always overly cold in hospitals.

Pack blankets you like if you want, although the hospital will supply some

3. Singlets (x4)

37F3547F-422C-46CA-BAEF-4CA7DDC911E5.JPG

These are a must in my opinion, new babies are used to the cosy warmth of inside our uterus so they do need a few extra layers to keep their body temperature normal. I’ve packed 4, I do believe they are the kmart brand, but I could be mistaken (they were a gift). Really any baby singlets will be just fine and newborn size is your best bet unless you’ve been advised otherwise, you can often purchase them in packs which is super handy for the hospital.

Pack at least 4 newborn singlets (newborn size)

4. Long Sleeved Onesies (x6)

BAA28FE6-BBBC-44EB-BBA6-466A5B4B58CF.JPG

Long sleeved onesies are also a must, for the reason previously stated. I have a real issue with decision making, hence why I’ve packed 6, but 4 would also suffice. The terry towelling onesies are absolutely excellent, I’ve packed 3, you’ll find them at a number of different stores from kmart to Best and Less and they’ll all be about the same quality. They’re just that little extra bit warm, plus I can’t get enough of the look of a newborn in a terry onesie. I’ve also got 3 non terries, because I can’t make decisions remember? ZIPS are your friend, I didn’t realise we only have ONE newborn onesie with a zip, but the more zip ones you can find the better (the buttons are from satan when its 3am and you can’t see properly because of how tired you are).

As for sizing, I found 0000 (4 zeros) perfect on Vi who was born 6lb 13oz (about the average size of a newborn), She also fit into 00000 (5 zeros) and wore a couple in the hospital, however I wouldn’t recommend purchasing any as they outgrow them within about a week. I have some packed but that is really only because I have them so I may as well use them. It’s also best to pack one or two 000 (3 zeros) just in case you have yourself a little chunker.

So to play it safe pack at least one 000 and a few 0000 long sleeved onesies, if you can, buy the ones with ZIPS!

5. Short Sleeved Onesies (x2)

12000993-D05A-40CC-8EF6-2099B4FB2EBD.JPG

These are definitely not 100% necessary. You’ll be wanting to keep bub as warm as you can, however on the off chance that the hospital is warmer than expected, I’ve chucked in two short sleeved onesies. It’s unlikely that bub will wear them, however she is an end of spring baby so I thought I’d better be safe. If anything she might wear one of these underneath a swaddle and a blanket, but likely not on its own.

Unlikely to be used, but two short sleeved onesies can be packed on the off chance the hospital is overly warm

6. Socks, Beanies and Mittens

79CCE362-04EB-46E3-BF4A-DA40D9E3F22F.JPG

Again for warmth reasons these are great to bring along. The long sleeved onesies should cover baby’s feet anyway so socks might not be 100% necessary, but they’re good to have. Mittens are also great, not necessarily because of the temperature but because little ones tend to unintentionally scratch their lovely little faces with their new found hands. And the beanie? It’s just a photo opp too cute to pass up. I have two pairs of socks, a beanie and a pair of mittens packed.

At least one pair of socks, a pair of mittens and a beanie are great to have.

7. Swaddles

587FF373-DAA2-41D1-B198-E296F8860EEA.JPG

This is definitely something I am doing differently this time around. When Vi was born, we only had the muslin swaddles, THIS time I’ll be packing three different types, one muslin, one Ergococoon and one Love to Dream. Babies wriggle, and often regular muslin swaddles have the tendency of coming undone when least convienient. We had the ergococoon when Vi was little but definitely didn’t use it as much as we could have, not because it wasn’t good, just because we had SO many muslin swaddles. Ergo has a little slit at the bottom for easy nappy changes and buttons at the top to keep their little arms in. Love to Dream swaddles are absolutely raved out here in Australia, I never purchased one when we had vi (because we had a million muslins) but they make swaddling extra easy with a ZIP! So naturally when I was gifted it (thanks Bri!) it went straight into the hospital bag pile.

You’ll want at least two swaddles if not more, and the style is totally up to you.

8. Bathtime basics

91437B2E-AD50-403E-854C-BF50E994EF53.JPG

We weren’t in hospital long enough with Vi to bathe her there, but I liked having the products I preferred with me just in case. You’ll want gentle products intended for newborns, and it doesn’t really matter if you don’t end up using them because you will need them at home anyway. I have a few face washers packed as well as the Nature’s Child organic baby wash and some moisturiser. Hospitals can be fairly drying so moisture filled products are always ideal.

The hospital may supply the basics if you have to bathe baby there, however if you have a product preference then definitely consider packing it, as well as 2 or so face washers.

9. Burp Cloths/Hand Towels

D63C06C1-A4E1-4D75-B39E-2B8FAD690868.JPG

We are lucky enough to have a super crafty nanny merele who is a whiz on the sewing machine. She whipped up these wonderful burp cloths for us before Violet was born. They’re treey toweling on one side and flannel on the other, I’m almost certain similar things can be purchased online, however a hand towel will do the exact same job. Babies can be a bit spewy, so its nice to have something covering your clothes just in case.

3 hand towels or burp cloths are super handy if you’re worried about getting spit-up on your clothes.

10. Dummies

2976011F-484E-486D-B796-156B18FD2531.JPG

This is definitely a personal preference. I know some parents don’t use dummies with their little ones so you definitely don’t have to include these in your hospital bag if its not something you want for your child. We do use them, and they worked wonderfully with Vi, it could be completely different with this baby but I’ll pack them anyway. I like to stick to the natural rubber products for newborns, they give me a bit of piece of mind about what I’m putting into my babies mouth. The brands I have packed are Natural Rubber Soother and Hevea, lots of people commented on how ugly they look, but I think the big dummy tiny baby thing positively adorable.

Pack them if you want them, don’t pack them if you don’t want them, simples.

11. Butt Cream

3059A40C-1FED-4E04-A06D-962D69E9E8E5.JPG

Sensitive little baby bums aren’t used to nappies yet, so some nappy rash cream is good to have on hand. I have the Thankyou brand Nappy Balm packed as well as some paw paw cream, both are great for relieving those little rashes. Sudocrem is also amazing, I’ll be packing our big tub of that as well when I find it in amoungst all our moving boxes. I think the hospital may have supplied some sample sized creams when Violet was born, but every hospital varies so it’s definitely good to have on hand.

At least one type of nappy rash cream, Thankyou brand, Sudocrem and Paw-Paw cream are all great

12. The BAG

B59F1DD0-B0F8-4B54-9D0D-D5A2708E90DF.JPG

The centre of it all, the bag! You really don’t have to have anything fancy, anything big enough to fit the entirety of this list in it will work. I have friends that used duffel bags and even suitcases. My mum got me my nappy bag before Vi was born and it is just about the perfect size. It is one of the Colette by Colette Hayman baby bags, they go for about $80 but are definitely worth the investment, I’ll be continuing to use mine as it’s pretty much still in perfect condition after almost 2 years of use, plus I feel kind of chic when I use it, it is very pretty.

Anything big enough to fit everything in it works!

17EE882C-D2C1-4410-A168-A67BFD0343A5.JPG

So that about sums up what I pack in the hospital bag for baby. I’m more than likely forgetting things (pregnancy brain right?). But for the most part these are all things I used with Violet in the hospital when she was born. Of course every birth and baby are different and depending on the length of your stay and how big your baby is born you may change some of the sizes and number of clothing items you take.

I pack a completely seperate bag for myself, just because it wouldn’t all fit in one bag. So my next post will be the Mama’s Edition. I hope this was somewhat helpful for someone out there!

If you’ve been there and done that, what are some products you recommend? I’m always on the look out for good item to take!

 

xo Emily @ LovingLittleOne

Pregnancy, Week 23: Ethics and Questioning my Sanity

You know you’ve been binge watching too much of Netflix’s “The Good Place” when just about every thought that pops into your head, you manage to somehow link back to moral ethics. And this week/last week… we watched the whole two seasons (again). So now, I’m sitting here questioning the ethics behind feeding my toddler left over roast veggies because I couldn’t be arsed grocery shopping, again.

Don’t get me wrong, the veggies are healthy and she LOVES them so it’s not the act, more or less the laziness behind having zero groceries in the house for about the 6th day in a row.

At 23 weeks, my brain is mush and the absolute last thing I want to be doing is grocery shopping. It’s always crowded, and about 8 degrees colder than I find mildly comfortable. PLUS last time I went grocery shopping I got stank-eyed by a 2 year old (not my child, surprisingly. Though she has got a good stank face) and its really just something I don’t have the strength to face again just yet… He was a MEAN looking 2 year old.

little bean is now big enough to show easily in pretty much anything I wear. Which is both good and bad. Good because it’s more obvious now that I’m having a baby and its not just pudge from my last one. And bad because pretty much all of my non maternity pants no longer fit, including my favourite tights. But alas, this bump will only grow bigger so I’ve again reached the crossroads between sucking it up and continuing to wear the same wardrobe week in and out, or buying more maternity clothes. Which is never really a good idea if we’re being honest, they’ll only be needed for a few months longer, then they just become baggy house clothes that you spent too much money on.

My memory is currently about as awful as my bladder capacity. And whoever said you should have less frequent trips to the toilet in the second trimester is a LIAR. Swift kicks to the bladder make it pretty difficult to go any longer than about an hour between loo visits. I forget where I put my phone, my keys, my wallet, Violet’s nappy wipes, the TV remote… pretty much anything smaller then a carry-on bag you can bet I’ve misplaced. It certainly doesn’t help that Vi tends to hide these things regularly, but you know, you can’t blame everything on the kids.

Beyond losing things and stretching clothes, the last couple of weeks have been super all over the place for me, emotionally. I tend to swing wildly and randomly back and forth between “everything is okay, we’ve got this” to “holy crap what the hell are we doing”, and although both feelings are pretty normal, I’ve felt myself internalising them a lot more than usual this pregnancy. Which means bad news when the bottled emotions come spilling out all over my coffee in the form of panicked wails.

Dan and I are no strangers to this whiplash kind of emotional rollercoaster, just seems to be heightened for the both of us at the moment which can be both stressful and confusing. We do have big things going on in our life beyond the baby and Vi that are obviously contributing, it’s all reached quite a pivotal peak and we’ve just been left clinging on to faith that we’ll reach the other side relatively unscathed and hopefully in a better place as a family.

The irony of life really rears its head in moments like these, the most challenging things often come around at what feels like exactly the wrong time. But then again, is there ever really a good time to face trialling adversity? Probably not, much like there never really being a good time to go to the dentist or call Centrelink *shivers*. But we push forward, whether it be by choice or by the force of change and time.

The one thing I am sure of is my love for Dan and the family we’ve created together, beyond the crazy hormones and shitty life situations. They give me my sanity, a constant in a world that is so uncertain for us at the moment. They’re all of my good mornings and all of my goodnights, and soon we’ll have one more little person to cuddle for all of those.

These 23 weeks have certainly been wild, and very very fast. In fact, I really can’t believe we’re here already. We’ll be seeing you soon little bean!

Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we truly are.

-Arthur Golden

Xo Emily @ LovingLittleOne.com

20 Weeks Deep

I really thought I would have posted before now, publicly anyway. But I’m sure if you’re a parent you’ll get me when I say “we’ve been so BUSY”. And not necessarily busy doing anything in particular, just busy with life. Life with a toddler, and life preparing for a new baby.

It astounds me to say that this week, I’m 20 weeks deep into my second pregnancy. In fact, it astounds me so much so that I can barely comprehend it. Half way through the journey to meeting our second bundle of love. A tiny little human who is just as much a little person as Vi is.

My brain honestly struggles to fathom it, it’s so hard to explain. But I’m sure if you’re a parent you’ll understand. You hold so much love for your first born that you question how you’ll be able to love any little babe just as much. But somehow you just know you will.

This pregnancy has been so incredibly different to my pregnancy with Violet, but also so similar. The sickness hit hard in the first few months, just like it did with Vi. And I can’t quite put my finger on whether it was more difficult in general, or just more difficult because I have a toddler. Maybe both? I was certainly more sick more often, and lost about the same amount of weight as I did with Violet in the beginning.

At about 12 weeks it fully subsided, which was certainly sooner than what it did with vi. And since then it has been mostly smooth sailing. Low blood pressure and iron plague me a little, but they do for most pregnant people and they’re easily managed so I am certainly not going to complain.

Violet has been nothing but her beautiful little self throughout this journey so far. She knows where “mummy’s baby” is, and loves to give the bump a little kiss and stroke every now and then. And whilst I was sick she would toddle along behind me to the bathroom and pat my back for me as I’d loose my lunch (and anything else I’d attempted to consume in the hours prior).

It’s definitely her journey I am interested in seeing! How she handles seeing such a little baby around the house, one that won’t leave and will become a part of our family. But I have endless amount of faith in her ability to adjust, and love this little one as much as she loves anyone dear to her (which anyone who knows her, knows her love comes in buckets full of cuddles and kisses).

It’s so strange, but some days I forget about the little baby growing inside of me. I’m so busy with life on the outside, teaching Violet about the world and watching her grow and play. It’s only when I feel a kick, or sit on the couch to relax that I remember there’s another little one joining us soon.

I have high hopes of continuing to share this journey with everyone, because I have been told by so many people that they’ve missed my little updates and stories. Which warms my heart because I really have missed sharing with you all.

So here’s to 20 weeks, and 17 months! 20 weeks of tiny babe, and 17 months of our gorgeous Vi.

xo Emily @ http://www.lovinglittleone.com

“Mudging” (Mum-judging)

If you’re yet to join the ranks of motherhood “Mudging” would have to be one of the weird made up words you’re yet to involve in your day to day vocabulary. Mainly because I made it up, but thats besides the point.

But the act of “mudging” or “mum-judging” is VERY real, in fact, so real that I’m surprised it hasn’t become a common hashtag or catchphrase yet. The reality of it tends to be quite hidden, that is until the day you, as an unsuspecting first time mum join the “mummy groups” that are the hidden forums of the judgy-mcjudge dark side of the internet.

At first you’re delighted by the empowering and basically utterly adorable posts… “#normalisebreastfeeding” and “#fedisbest”, Babies everywhere, milk teeth on show, wrinkly bums out for the world to see. There are threads on postpartum advice, advice on the best bottles, a plethora of info on where to buy the best baby things at the best prices. I mean, I could go on ALL day about the beautiful thing mothers pages appear to be, but thats obviously not what you clicked on this title for.

It appears the one thing they forget to give you in your “pregnancy and motherhood” gift pack you receive at your first antenatal appointment is the pamphlet that apparently almost every other mother out there has read stating:

“MOTHERHOOD IS A COMPETITION! DON’T TAKE LAST PLACE!” 

But I’ll tell you now, you’ll find that pamphlet plastered passive aggressively in the comments section of almost every single post on your friendly neighbourhood “mum’s page”. You wouldn’t believe it but the drama we thought we all left behind in high school is surprisingly alive and well in the same “empowering” posts we all thought were here to make us feel better about ourselves.

But it doesn’t begin and end with disagreement. There is name-calling, blatant shaming, gang-up type behaviour, unsolicited advice, posting of articles that are completely biased and mostly entirely unreliable used in order to “educate” people on what they should be doing with their OWN children.

Post upon post made in spite of other posts because people are too passive aggressive to address issues on the original conversation. But commenting their opinion on the post would be disregarding the “scroll on” rule that almost every single one of these pages has, so better to create an entire other post on the matter right? So it doesn’t appear as though its a response to something that’s not agreed on, rather a new “topic” to discuss.

Yet no matter how many rules are made, or how many people are “removed” from these groups the issue is still there. The people that are removed simply create their own “NEW GROUP!” that is somehow better and more positive then the last. Spoiler alert, it never is.

The reality of it is, in most situations people just can’t help feeling they know better then someone else. And motherhood just so happens to be one of those things that people who have experience in, think they know ALL about.

There is no doubting women are strong, incredible creatures. Not only for what our bodies are capable of, both in pregnancy and childbirth, but also in our remarkable ability to carry on through the struggles motherhood itself can bring beyond the womb. But with our strength comes a fire we are using against ourselves; fellow mothers who are not only experiencing the same difficulties motherhood presents us with, but women with their own life struggles and hardships.

There is no denying the beauty behind women who support one another, and we all know that these groups are started with that intention. But FAR too many times we let our ego and our hunger for “knowing best” get in the way of our ability to empathise.

So much time is wasted dragging one another across rock hard ground without ever stopping to contemplate the fact that we are all just women who love their children with every ounce of who we are and who we ever will be.

I am sick of reading and hearing about women purposefully hurting other women for the sake of an argument. And if it were as simple as leaving the “mums groups” I don’t think I’d see enough reason to write this post. But in all honesty it is everywhere. It is facebook posts on public profiles, and in the comment sections of public videos, its in the judging remarks of one woman to another on the street (even if one of them never actually hears it), it’s in the looks we give and the sounds we make, the messages we send, the phone calls we make… even in the thoughts we think of ourselves as we stand in front of the mirror questioning our own ability as a mother.

And if that isn’t the saddest part about all of this then I don’t know what is.

Our inability to consider one another with empathy and love is hurting our ability to consider ourselves with empathy and love. And how can any mother can be the best they can for their children without first being the best they can for themselves.

#StopMudging

IMG_2969.JPG

xx Emily @ Lovinglittlone.com