You Matter Too, Mumma

A reminder for even the toughest of mummies, to care for yourself just as well as you care for your beautiful children 

Processed with VSCO with g3 preset
Processed with VSCO with g3 preset

When it’s 3am and your partner is fast asleep while you’re heavy eyed and nursing, remember Mumma, you matter too, and he knows that. He just doesn’t have the boobs or the perfect sleep inducing snuggles you do.

When it’s been hours since you’ve stopped to breathe and your housework is up to your knees, remember Mumma, you matter too. And the dirty dishes can wait until you’ve napped, they’re not going anywhere.

When the babies washing is a mile high and she has a poop explosion for the third time, remember Mumma, you matter too. And no matter how much poop you get on your clothes, in your hair and on your arms, you’re still a hero.

When the scales seem broken and the loose skin on your tummy makes you feel that you’ll never be the woman you used to be, remember Mumma, you matter too. Your body is a temple that grew life, it will always be amazing.

When people judge you for breastfeeding/not breastfeeding/cuddling too much/letting baby cry… basically everything, remember Mumma, you matter too. And your parenting will always be what’s best for your baby.

When it’s been months since you’ve slept through the entire night and your baby wakes with aching gums for the 6th time since midnight, remember Mumma, you matter too. This chapter of your life is so very tough, but also so very short and so tremendously filled with love, treasure even the toughest of times.

motherhood is filled with ups and downs, things that make you yearn for your days that were filled with nothing but yourself and the TV remote, but at the same time you couldn’t ever imagine being as happy as you are without them. Taking a breather every now and then to remind yourself of just how important you are is such an underestimated thing. Light a candle, run a hot bath, read that book you’ve always wanted to read, get your nails done or your hair washed and blow dried, call your mum, or your dad, or your best friend, take a nap, heck take two if you can. Of course we all feel like there isn’t any time for these things but there really is, we’ve just got to make it. I’m breastfeeding as I write this if thats any indication.

We’ll move mountains for our kids, we’ve got to remember to soak in it’s beautiful springs on the way up.

18788181_827102864120894_1972032949_n18762597_827072197457294_256747495_n

Advertisements

Breastfeeding Without a Cover (gasp)

Blog title `1

I honestly find it hard to believe that now, in 2017, breastfeeding is still taboo. Society as a whole has grown so much in so many ways, yet here we are still chucking little tanties about babies suckling from nipples in public.

As natural as it is, it still makes people uncomfortable… The same way women talking about childbirth makes people cringe. It must be something to do with the fact that they produce milk, making them large, because last time I checked males have nipples too and even the ones who aren’t dads run around with theirs hanging out.

I’m not really talking about the instances of covered feeding, because thats pretty widely accepted. Because the little muslin wrap somehow makes everyone forget that theres a nipple underneath with a baby attached. I’m talking about uncovered, in the open feeding; no fiddling to get yourself covered, no baby pulling it off half the time. Just baby and nipple, out in the sunshine.

I breastfeed. Exclusively. Not because I am against pumping or formula but because it’s just damn easier. As difficult as childbirth was made for women, the gift of being able to breastfeed truly makes up for it a little. There is no cost, no need for heating (or keeping it cool in storing), no washing up and the best part, it’s always readily available. I currently take the ‘all-guns-ablazing’ approach. If I’m going to feed in public I’m going to do it my way, comfortably without a cover. And for some reason (well beyond my knowledge) a lot of people think that this gift, of feeding my child whenever and wherever they become hungry is, wait for the grown-up word… gross.

Because nourishing a newly growing human being from the organs made to do exactly that is somehow right up there with the gross things of the world like picking your nose and godforbid eating it in public.

So gross that you’ll be judged with an updown glare from a 14 year old in a crop top smaller than your maternity bra while her mother suggests you “cover up because there are children around who don’t need to see it”. Children. Lady, you do realise children are fed this way right?

Freedom of speech is all good and well but freedom to feed comfortably also relevant. Just as relevant as every other pressing issue of the 21st century from misogyny to racism. Insecurity around feeding only leads to added stress and greater difficulty in completing the task in the first place, and insecurity comes from unnecessary glares and comments. We’ve got a right to have our boob out, just as you have a right to look away. Don’t make something natural and beautiful difficult and uncomfortable when it doesn’t need to be.

 

Newborn Madness: 10 things I wish someone had told me about parenthood

If you’re a parent, by the time your baby turned ten weeks old you most likely, at some point, sat and thought to yourself “well why the heck didn’t anyone say anything about this BEFORE the baby got here?!” at least once, right? And you come to realise at some point, that no matter how prepared you thought you were, no matter how many books you read, how many classes you attended, nothing really prepared you for the mammoth task that was and is parenthood.

 

So, for all you newbies out there; here’s my top 10 things I didn’t know before I became a mum, that in a few months time you’ll be thankful you now know . And for everyone else, here’s a bit of a giggle, because honestly, I really should have guessed.

 

  1. It’s okay to get poop on things

No matter how great you think you’ll be, there will be at least one sh*tty nappy change (pun intended). Whether it’s that first tarry black post apocalyptic looking poop, or the runny after-immunisations sludgy yellow slop. It’ll happen. It’ll get on your carpet, it’ll get in your hair, it’ll get on bubs face too! And it’s TOTALLY OKAY. Because unlike those embarrassing posts you made on facebook when you were 13 that are now stuck on the internet forever to haunt your present self, it’ll come off with the quick swipe of a nappy wipe.

 

2. Getting poop on yourself without realising until you’re in public is also okay

It’s honestly inevitable. If the poop can get on the carpet and the walls then yep, it’ll get on you too. And at least once you won’t see it until it’s too late, and everyone in k-mart will know you spend your hours wiping someone else’s bum. And it’s fine because you don’t know those people and they don’t know you. And if you do know them then just pretend its mustard, trust me, same colour, they won’t even know. And if they do know they won’t say anything because they feel sorry for you, you’re a sleep deprived mess.

 

3. You will forget your new child’s name

Let’s be real, unless you’ve been set on one name your entire pregnancy, you probably spent many hours deciding which name would be best for your unborn little cutie. You’ll see and contemplate a LOT of names. And in the midst of being sleep deprived and a little all over the place you may have to think once or twice in those early hours of the morning if Violet really was the name you picked or if you dreamed it up and literally have forgotten their real name entirely. Trust me, it’ll only be momentary but it’ll happen. Don’t beat yourself up about it, just don’t do it when you’re registering them for their birth certificate yeah?

 

4. Keeping track of nighttime feeds is never a good idea

Remember the days when child-less you would wake up before your alarm, look at the clock at 2am and smile because you still had another 4-5 hours left to stay in your pillow kingdom of warmth. Well looking at the clock at 2am when you’re feeding, changing nappies and sometimes also sheets (because accidents happen) will not make you relieved nor anywhere near somewhat happy. You’ll be sad. Tired and sad because god only knows when this child will let you rest again, and for how long. Don’t look at the clock, stay blissfully unaware. In fact, pretend it’s 5pm, put a movie on, have a cup of tea. Time is utterly irrelevant. Trust me, you’ll be happier for it.

 

5. Babies smell fear

You finally put bub down for a sleep after a few solid minutes (maybe even hours) of screaming. You’re relieved, but also scared they’ll wake up again as soon as you walk away. THEY WILL. THEY KNOW. THE MINUTE YOU THINK IT THEY WILL WAKE UP. confidence is seriously everything. Believe in your bub, she’ll stay asleep, she’s awesome at this, just look at her. Same goes for non parents who are scared to hold baby because he’ll cry. He knows, even you just thinking it gives him the advantage. fake it till you make it I say, even false confidence is better than none at all.

 

6. Breastfeeding is just as full time as pregnancy when it comes to what you can eat

Oblivious little me “I can’t wait to have this baby so I can have a glass of wine/soft cheese/salami”. REMEMBER, if bub will be affected by it, and they’re drinking the milk that you make. You can’t have it. It’s obvious, but I really wish someone had reminded me of this before I got all excited about the fact that the end of pregnancy was near and that my freedom of eating and drinking whatever I wanted was near. It wasn’t and still isn’t. I’m not complaining, breastfeeding is incredible. Wine though…

 

7. People aren’t joking about parenthood being isolating

Seriously. You’ll think we’re over exaggerating about the isolation of parenthood, but it’s real. And it’s there. And it’s probably one of the biggest contributing factors to the baby blues other than the feeling of being overwhelmed by the sudden and new duty of caring for a tiny human being. But it’s totally normal to feel that way, for younger parents and older ones. You’re transitioning into a new lifestyle, especially with your first child. Your friends want to give you space to settle, you may not know many other people with babies, or you may know hundreds. But those first few weeks can feel lonely and asking for help, or even just some company is 100% okay, and in no way a sign of weakness.

 

8. Realising that no parent is an expert, and every baby is different is a must

This includes realising that not all advice is good advice, and not all good advice is advice you have to take. Every baby adjusts to the world differently, reaches milestones at different times, and reacts to different parenting methods totally differently. If Belinda Opinionista from down the road says you have to rock your baby to sleep every sleep time until 4 months because she did and now her kids sleep perfectly, but that doesn’t suit you or your baby, don’t do it. Just because it worked for someone else, or studies say it should work doesn’t mean it’ll work for you. And you should NEVER feel guilty for not doing something if it doesn’t work for you and your baby.

 

9. It’s okay to walk away for 5 minutes

When the screaming has been non stop and you can’t seem to solve or soothe them it is 100% okay to put baby in a safe place, like their cot, close the door and walk somewhere where you can’t hear them for five minutes. In fact, I honestly think you’ll go mad if you don’t. I thought you couldn’t, I would rock her and bounce her and hold her while my ears would ring from the endless screaming until I felt like I could break down crying because I didn’t know what I could do to help her. I eventually worked out that walking away, just for those five minutes and recollecting myself was the very best thing I could do for her. You come back with a fresh head and a calm demeanour that your baby will be able to pick up on and in turn will help calm them down.

10. Getting to know your baby takes time

The biggest thing of all. You’re new to being a parent. Your baby is new to being a baby. Everything is a little all over the place for the first few weeks. In the beginning it’s all extremely instinctive, feed, sleep, feed, sleep. You might feel a little overwhelmed, maybe even a little used considering you pour all your hours into feeding and tending to this little humans every need to get nothing much back for a while. But when those smiles start coming, and the personality starts to show that’s when it will all feel worth it. as time goes on you never think you can love your baby more than you do right at that very moment. But every single day that child will prove you wrong by filling your heart with even more love than you ever thought possible.

 

Violet 4 WM

 

Above all else, take a deep breath and remember that this gorgeous little human is entirely your own, and you get to love them for the rest of your life and beyond.

 

 

 

Violet Rae Cook: 6 Week Update

Don’t ask me how we are already at 6, nearly 7 weeks… I simply can’t answer it, and it makes me quite anxious to think just how damn quickly time is passing. 

Every day that passes we see more and more of Violet’s personality shine through, and god, it only makes us love her more. She’s curious, happy, and bloody strong! I didn’t think it was possible but for such a small baby she can pack a kick, and a head butt, that’s for sure. 

At 4 and a half weeks she ROLLED! Which initiated the transition from her cradle to her cot, like a big girl in her very own room. Of course, she’s not slept through yet, but is adjusting impressively well to self settling and waking up in her own room by herself. 

At 6 weeks we got our first real social smile. And let me tell you, that brings tears of happiness to any new parents eyes. After weeks on end of changing nappies, feeding all hours of the day and soothing a screaming baby, to finally see their little smile, it wells your heart. Somehow making everything you’ve been through so much more worth it. And I’m probably a bit biased but that smile is absolutely gorgeous. I’m living for the cute little gurgling baby sounds she makes as she watches our faces intently, taking all of the world in.
And great news! She’s absolutely loving her baths now, if you’ll remember in my last post I said she hated them and would scream bloody murder every time we tried to get her in there. But I can happily say she had about a half hr bath with me tonight and loved every minute of it.

It’s safe to say that we’re adjusting a lot better to this whole parenting gig. You don’t believe it in the beginning when they tell you that you’ll get used to not having enough sleep, but you really truly do. I feel fully functional on 6 hrs of broken sleep a night, and I’m damn proud of myself for it. Nappy changes happen in under 2 minutes these days, and we haven’t had a poo-splosion in weeks, which I nail down to the fact that we can actually put a nappy on properly! 

On Monday we had her 6 week immunisations, and if you’re a parent you’ll share my pain, I honestly think it hurts more to watch than it actually is painful for Bub. But it’s comforting to know that she’s more better equipped to deal with all different types of bugs the world could throw at her. And that she can now socialise with other babies! Which I’m hoping to get happening in the next few weeks by attending lactation groups and mothers groups.

I feel like she’s very easy on us, I mean obviously she has her moments but every baby does. She’s settling in so well to being a little human. And god, I never knew how much love you could hold in your heart until now, and I tell you what, it just keeps growing and growing. 

Violet Rae: One Month Old

Processed with VSCO with f2 preset

I’m actually 100% in denial. It seriously cannot have been a whole month since Violet was born… But at the same time it feels like she has been in our lives for a lifetime. The past month has been one of the hardest, but most rewarding months of my life. Who’d have known 10 months ago we’d be on this journey together here right now.

These first four weeks have certainly been a massive learning curve. Learning to change nappies (lots of them), learning to breastfeed (and all the fun that comes with it) and also learning to let go of our once very-well rested life and to welcome a new life of a lot less sleep, but a lot more love.

I want to say that Vi is a relatively easy baby, but then again I’ve never had a baby before so I don’t really have much to compare her to. Her first two weeks she didn’t really cry much at all, she just ate and slept and pooped. And then of course when my mum left at the two week mark was when she started being a little bit more cheeky. I can’t say she’s been anywhere near a handful though. She’s easy to sooth, sleeps in relatively regular stints (meaning we have somewhat a pattern to our small amount of sleep) and hasn’t had any issues with breastfeeding besides occasionally overeating and then spewing it all down my front, you know, as babies do.

I must say I’ve never known a baby to grunt as much as this little one… and headbutt peoples shoulders to the point where she looks like she’ll give herself a concussion. Babies are certainly interesting little creatures… But we see more and more personality within her every single day, and fall more and more in love with her because of it.Currently she’s gained almost a whole kilo since she was born, and we haven’t measured her length recently but I feel like she’s certainly grown a whole lot that way as well.

We’ve also done a lovely little trip up to visit my family in Gladstone and Dan’s family in Bundaberg. And while we were there we had the privilege of getting some beautiful photography done (I’ll attach some sneak peeks below), thanks to my mum and dad for the gift of capturing those precious moments while she is still so little. (the photography is Dream Capture by Clarissa if anyone is interested, and she is just as lovely as her photography so I’d highly recommend her!)

Having a newborn is tricky for a number of reasons. Tricky because if you’re a new parent and  you have no idea what you’re doing. But can take solace in the fact that everyone out there was a new parent once, and you’re probably not the only mum to get poop on your hand and not realise until an hour later, or, in your sleep deprivation mistake your pillow for your baby. Every single day we learn new things along with Vi, and it’s been such a blessing watching her become the happy, beautiful little girl she is. It’s so daunting how quickly this month has flown by, I guess people really mean it when they say that they grow up fast…

Happy One Month beautiful little girl

img_5160img_5159img_5138

Third Trimester Tantrum: 8 things you are OVER by the end of pregnancy


Isn’t carrying life beautiful? The kicks, the glow, the joy of bringing another little human into the world who is half of you and half the person you love.

Well yes and no. All throughout pregnancy there are ups and downs, but pretty much all women (besides the blessed) get to around the end half of the third trimester and absolutely spit the dummy. They’re tired, they’re swollen, they’re cranky and in their minds, they’re utterly done. 

I’ve compiled a list of 8 pregnancy related things that I’m currently done with, in hopes someone, another mother, mother to be, or just anyone really, might find it a little funny. Mostly because right now, I’m completely losing my mind.  


1. Not being able to see my feet

or tie up my shoes, or shave my legs, or pick up things I drop. Basically from the hip downward is “out of bounds”,”no go zone”, “restricted area”. And yes in the beginning it’s funny, people pick things up for you and even tie your shoes for you (princess or what?). But as I’ve found out, asking your partner to shave your bikini line for you, after the 10th time, is no longer glamourous nor funny. You miss your independence! And god, being able to go for a walk without getting someone to tie up your laces.

2. Heartburn

I no longer am experiencing heartburn as Bub dropped a LOT further about a week ago. But I tell you what up until now, since I was probably 30 weeks I had not enjoyed a single meal. And I say this in all seriousness. After all how can one enjoy a meal when they feel it creeping back up their asophagus after 3 bites. 


3. Mood swings
Men, if you think your partner is bad during her “week”, then you just wait until she’s been a walking incubator for YOUR child for the last 8 months. Her hormones are through the roof, and for the most part, in her eyes it’s your fault. I’m not sure what anyone else experienced mood wise during this part of their pregnancy, but I’m pretty much either deliriously happy or a sobbing mess. And on the odd occasion when I’m cranky I usually just nap it off (lucky Dan right? though he’s probably sick of the tears by now). Living life never knowing if you’re about to cry or laugh gets old, reaaaalllly quickly.

4. Cramps

Cramps in your feet, cramps in your calves, cramps in your back. You’re basically a giant knotted muscle. And delightfully they only tend to happen when you least expect it. Ie, you’re asleep, just about to stand up, or mid stride. When you’re off guard and unsuspecting they usually lead to a unintentional yelp which causes an awful lot of concern from the people around you “are you okay? sh*t, is the baby coming? Did your waters break?”.  No, I’ve just been shot in the calf and can’t walk, but it’s fine…

5. Braxton Hicks Contractions (BHC)

Whoever Braxton Hicks is must have been a real bastard in life to have pre-labour cramps named after him. Up until about now BHC are fairly manageable, they’re short, sweet and usually only happen around 2-3 times a day. For me though, I’ve gotten to the stage now that for the last couple of weeks they happen more often, they’re more painful and honestly just down right bloody awful. Any mum that experienced them in this way will know, you either want them to get worse (and labour to actually progress) or you want them to kindly f*** off. Sitting up until 1am not really being sure if you’re in labour or not for 3 nights in a row isn’t and never will be fun.

6. Being the Sober Driver

I’m not, and never have been a big drinker. Ask anyone who’s whitnessed it, excessive amounts of alcohol and me don’t mix. But do you remember when you were a kid and your parents told you you couldn’t have something, and it just made you want it even more? Welcome to the life of a pregnant Mumma at any alcohol related social event ever. You don’t even want to get drunk, you just want a damn glass of wine to take the bloody edge off being around people who are drinking. I mean there are studies that say you can have just one… but honestly when you’ve got a little one inside of you, you become insanely protective. And that includes not just “giving in” and having a glass. Because come on guys, drunk babies are not okay. No matter what anyone says.

7. Opinions

And no I’m not talking about the well intended opinions from people who are already parents. I’m talking about the so called “parenting advice” you receive from people who either A. Have never had children or been pregnant themselves. B. Are physically incapable of having children (yes men, you). C. People who tell you you should or shouldn’t be doing something that you’ve already said you do or don’t want to do. Hello, people… it’s kind to ask if someone wants advice on something, and better yet it’s kind to actually know what you’re talking about before giving it as advice. It’s pretty simple really though, if you’re sharing advice good on you, but if you’re sharing your opinion for the sake of displaying that you know better than the expecting parents, its best then not to say anything at all. 

8. Needing to pee. Always

During the third trimester you come to realise, very quickly, that your bladder space has indeed been compromised. And even more so when a certain little someone decides to get friendly with your bladder with quick and swift elbow or kick, causing you to lose all control and wet your pants. Liners for this reason have probably been your best friend for months. And I tell you what you’ll be very very done with them by third trimester.

So there it is. 8 things I’m done with. 3 weeks left (technically) give or take. Let’s hope I survive… otherwise a lot more than a ranty blog post will be in order. Honestly though, we all know it’ll be worth it when you see that little face for the very first time. Because all the pregnancy crap in the world could never overshadow the fact that your life has been completely changed forever by someone you’ve only just met. And I bet you already can’t take your eyes off of them.

Our moment is coming. And I can’t wait.

Bump Update: Week 23-28


Not much had been happening on the front of the differing weeks of pregnancy, so I thought I’d leave it a little while until I had some genuinely interesting updates to share. 

As we leap into the Third Trimester we’ve definitely had some interesting pregnancy related things to attend and prepare ourselves for. On the 12th of this month we attended an antenatal class at our hospital (Redlands Public), which went for an entire day (much to Dan’s dismay) though, we survived! And left feeling a lot more positive than we initially thought. Unlike what you see in the movies there were no videos of women “purple pushing” their babies out, but rather videos on the stages of labour and how surprisingly quiet they can be, which I think was a welcome relief for us both. Though my advice to any first time dad-to-be’s, don’t listen or watch the parts about perineal tearing (that’s something you really don’t want to hear/see). 

Also this month I had my gestational diabetes test, any mum will know what I’m talking about but if you’re not a mum or medical student, it’s a test where they determine whether your body correctly processes sugar properly whilst you are pregnant. You’ve got to drink this gross drink that tastes like straight cordial and have your blood taken a whole heap of times over 2 hours. Not fun… I’m also still yet to be notified if I actually passed that test, though it’s been almost a week so I’m gathering that I did, because they haven’t yet contacted me. 

I’m definitely starting to see, now that I’m into the third trimester, how and why the second trimester is called the honeymoon trimester… oh the days of still being able to do my shoes up and better yet being able to see my own feet. Nothing is bloating or swelling really (besides the obvious, my stomach) though the heaviness of the general area is getting extremely noticeable for me, especially when she decides to stretch out to make room for herself, pulling my entire stomach in that direction.

Our little Poppy is extremely active, something I never realised before I became pregnant myself, the movement almost becomes constant. I’m not sure what I thought before this, maybe that they just kicked every couple of days or so. I was certainly wrong. Dan and I catch her kicking around all times of the day, and even late at night while I sleep, or at least try to. She seems to love Daniel’s humming still, as well as when we read to her or gently and playfully poke around my tummy. 

I’m still very much planning on going natural with my birth, and I’m continuing to further my knowledge every day about how to help myself do so. With only 12 weeks left until our due date, also factoring in the fact that she could come some time before or after then, we’re very much looking forward to setting up her nursery and to our baby shower! Which will be happening on the 8th of January, if anyone would like to attend please don’t hesitate to contact me for some info. We’re definitely seeing it as a chance to see everyone and catch up for a few drinks (of lemonade for me 😂) before the duties of becoming new parents partially take over our lives. 

I have a few funny new stories to share in the next few posts, I didn’t want to include them here because then it would probably turn into the length of an essay. So definitely watch this space! The count down is most certainly on as we await the arrival of our beautiful little girl 💕

Baby this week: Heavy as a cauliflower and 37cm from head to toe

Bump Update: Week 21/22 – It’s a Girl!

14825539_700185033479345_1151074988_n.jpg

We’ve finally had our gender reveal party!! And as many of you already know, it’s a girl! despite the literally overwhelming amount of people (including myself) who had their bets on it being a little boy, it is indeed a little lady. You have no idea how difficult it has been not to share this with everyone! Dan and I have known for just over a month now, and I’ve been itching to tell everyone since. Lots of people have asked why we didn’t wait until she was born to find out that she was a girl and in all honesty, we’re far too impatient for that. We couldn’t pass up the opportunity to properly prepare for her arrival, colour scheme and all, by not finding out.

In the past two weeks we’ve had a lot on! We’ve been to Bundaberg and back, had another appointment with our midwife, booked in for our antenatal class (yes! finally), scheduled my Glucose Test (ew), Planned a getaway for my birthday weekend (IN LESS THAN 2 WEEKS, YAS!) and we witnessed, for the first time in real life, a lady in labour. Holy Jesus… the lady in labour, never have I heard a scream so loud and so emotional in my whole entire life. Which then of course, launched me into the curiosity of what my own labour will be like.

From there I made the firm decision that I would be, to the best of my ability and as long as it is safe for myself and our baby, going entirely Natural (this is not to say that I am not open to all possibilities happening, I’m aware that birth can take many different turns that one doesn’t always have a say in what happens, especially in emergencies). I know what you’re thinking… but you just said the lady was screaming and loud, why would you want that? Why not drug it up? And as much as I respect all women and their chosen ways of birthing (ladies, you’re all Queens), personally I feel that birthing, the way nature intended, is a life event that I want to experience in full.

Funnily enough I’ve actually begun looking forward to the birth (yes I’m crazy and optimistic, isn’t it wonderful?) ever since my midwife suggested looking up hypnobirthing, and I can’t imagine our babies journey into the world any other way. The basic principles are that a calm, relaxed and focused mother can subside pain and further create a calmer, happier baby (sounds ludicrous right?). So I’m staying optimistic and delving myself further into studying hypnobirthing and how to personalise it for myself. If any of my fellow mummas to be would like to know what I’m going on about feel free to message me, maybe we can share our crazy dream of a better way of birthing together.

How’ve I been feeling? Well, very very positive lately, despite a few things happening in our lives to do with our close family recently that have been definitely quite sad, I’ve felt like my hormones have actually been helping me cope with these things. It’s almost like they remind me that despite the things that are happening now, there are good things coming very soon to look forward to. Never in my life have I been able to deal with grief in such a way, to feel so at peace with the fact that loved ones, although have left us, are now in a better place where they can be entirely free of the boundaries that life at times sets up for us. I’d like to know if this is linked to my hormones (you know, scientifically) and the more instinctive way of my body not holding on to stress and grief to accommodate for the little life inside of me.

Health wise I’ve been bumping (pun intended) along quite nicely. I’ve not experienced nausea in a long long while, and I’ve been trying to keep exercise in my daily routine to the best of my ability, as well as still devouring fruit like a fruit bat who’s been starved for weeks. Our little girl is always kicking and flipping and reminding us of how big she’s getting, so everything is looking very on track so far! I just can’t begin to describe how overjoyed I’ve been feeling, to finally let everyone know that he/she is actually a SHE. It still shocks me every single day that somehow, all on its own my body is growing this tiny, beautiful little human, and that in February we’ll finally get to meet her. Hopefully we can narrow the long list of names we like sometime before then!love.jpg

 

 

An open letter 


To our gorgeous little unborn baby,

I haven’t quite yet looked into your eyes, and your daddy hasn’t quite yet got to hold your tiny little hand, but it’s not too early for both of us to know just how much we love you. Before you make your journey into this big beautiful world there’s a few things you should know.

There’s an awful lot of love waiting out here for you, I hope you’re ready for your 4 aunties and uncles, who are all incredibly excited to meet you, not to mention all of the aunties and uncles who aren’t quite blood but will love you all the same. There’s also the 4 grandparents, who already have a place in their hearts just for you, most will be near, though some will be further than we’ll be able to take you to visit, just remember that although you can’t see it, their love for you will always be in your heart. There’s also 9 Great Grandparents (holy moly right?!) who all I’m sure will shower you in love and spoil you beyond I or Daddy’s wildest dreams. AND two Great-Great Grandparents! Goodness. Not to meantion all the other family members, near, far and in our hearts.

You’ll have a lot of learning to do, but we want you to remember that it’s okay to make mistakes in that learning. After all I don’t doubt that we will make mistakes along side of you, we’ll be learning how to be parents ourselves, so don’t be too hard on us, and we’ll do the same for you, deal? 

There’s probably going to be an awful lot of opinions around about what you should be doing, which milestone you should be reaching and in what time. But we’ll be patient with you, everything you need to do you will do in your own time, which will be perfect timing if you ask us. We won’t be over here rushing you to grow up. And please don’t do it too quickly! 

There’ll be times when you’re in trouble, no matter how well behaved you normally are. And although we will be frustrated or angry with you we will still love you, even if you are out later than you said you would be on a school night or didn’t text us when you said you would. There are far more important things in life to worry about, as long as you’re being safe and honest with us we can’t ask more of you. Eventually we’ll get over whatever we were angry at you for. 

Keep tabs of the things that are happening in your life! Take lots of photos, write down amazing things that happen during the day, keep a little box of notes you’ve written to your friends in class, funny pictures you’ve drawn, tickets for places you’ve visited. We’ll probably have lots of little keepsakes and funny memories from your childhood, and if you keep your own one day you’ll be able to show your own kids, just like I will show you all of mine, even if you think they’re lame.

Isn’t it crazy that only 20 weeks ago you suddenly existed?! And in 20 more weeks we will have you in our arms. Every part of your existence has come from nothing but love, and there is so much love waiting for you out here. Keep growing strong, showing us your little back flips and kicking up a storm when daddy laughs near you. We can already tell you’re full of so much happiness, laughter and light, all of which I’m certain will follow you out into the world. 

I’ll probably have more to add to this letter, more about making friends (and keeping them), growing up and I’m sure eventually girlfriends and boyfriends but for now, we’ll just leave it to, we love you, and we can’t wait to meet you our wonderful little one.

Mum and Dad

Baby necessities: how to not spend all of your money 

There are SO MANY cute things out there in the shops these days for babies, cute outfits, cute toys, cute furniture, cute wall decorations, they even have cute reusable nappies. And for any parents in waiting it’s an impossible task of not spending every cent you have on every cute item you find, especially if you know the gender and even more so if your little ones delivery date is still months away. 

The overwhelming urge to buy things and set things up is often referred to as nesting. It sounds so beautiful right? Nesting, fluffing little pillows to lay your little babies head on. But for the sake of your wallet, and probably the space in your house, nesting is probably best left until the due date creeps a little nearer. This in itself is so hard. Take it from someone who took a trip to IKEA recently, with whole rooms devoted to little babies and everything they need. Several times I had to stop myself from thinking but the nursery needs this beautiful beige crib canopy and matching bedsheets, and this nursing chair matches perfectly so obviously we need that too. I’m It was definitely tough, but we left almost completely empty handed and proud of ourselves for not making ourselves poor in the process.

I’ve used a few things in the last few weeks to fight the nesting urges and I thought these strategies might be helpful for others struggling not to empty their wallets on baby things that will probably one be used for a year or two.
1. Making things

Yes, arts and crafts. Especially those involving making something for your little bundle, teach yourself how to knit, or cross-stitch, or even embroidery. Keeping in mind that the initial expense of buying the equipment to do these things may cost you a little if you don’t already have them. I suggest lincraft or somewhere of the like, maybe even online if you know what you’re looking for. 

2. Spruce up what you already have

Something we have found really cost effective is spicing up plain clothing items that we have already been given. We’ve got a summer baby on the way, and of course my lovely mum has already gifted us a bunch of white singlets, lincraft has iron on patches for less than $3 each that are super cute and colourful, and now that we know the gender these help brighten up the white singlets (while still keeping them breathable for summer when he/she will probably just be in a singlet and nappy). This saves us from buying new little outfits that we don’t quite need to buy just yet.

 Also have a look at furniture you already have, dressers especially can be of great use as they can be used for change tables if they’re the right height, and then when your little one doesn’t need nappy changes anymore you’ve got a fully functioning dresser for all of their clothes. Maybe if you have something that sounds like it would work, think about repainting it as an extra little project, to you know, stop yourself from buying more furniture!

3. Write a list

It doesn’t sound like much, but believe me, getting everything you want/need out of your head and onto paper does give a mighty relief, and whilst shopping you’re less inclined to think but we might need that. Because you already know what you need. Have a look online to help with the list, websites like Pinterest can be really fun and really time consuming so if you’re looking for that extra bit of distraction, simply search he/she nursery on Pinterest. Trust me, it’ll be weeks before you get off of it and actually try and buy things, they have SO MUCH on there.

4. Don’t get sucked into the marketing

It seems as though there is a “baby” everything these days, a baby bath, a baby towel, baby tissues, a baby this, a baby that. Keep in mind that just because it has the word baby in the name or infant or whatever, doesn’t mean that it’s an absolute necessity. Normal baths for example, believe it or not, can be used with your baby, and here’s the best part- they’ll never grow out of them! I know it’s sad, but they will grow up, so it’s important to remember that they will grow out of things quite quickly, and if you can avoid buying too many of those things they’ll grow out of you’ll save yourself a lot of money.

5. Remind yourself that everything will come in good time

Babies bring such an exciting and comforting feeling. For me I’ve found treasuring the moments and feelings of pregnancy is so much more enjoyable than wandering around massive shops looking for things for her/him. I have total understanding that we do need to buy things, but they can wait for another day, when everything is a little more “just right”, the money, the timing, the storage. For us, we don’t know where we’re going to be in February when our little one is due, so holding off until we know is something that we need to do. And if we need to do it we may as well do it with a smile on our faces. 

All we currently know is in February 2017 we are going to be parents, and no matter where we are or what we buy, it’s going to be everything we ever dreamed of.


(And yes that chair was bloody comfy after walking around all day)