The Hazy Days: Getting through the first month with a newborn

There is no doubt about it, bringing a child into the world will be one of the most incredible and most exhausting things you will ever experience in your life. I’d consider myself a bit of an old hand at it now, having done it twice, but that would mean I know what I’m doing. And let’s be honest, none of us do!

There are a few little things I’ve come across in my experiences that have at least made things a little easier. Hopefully this can help at one or two people out in their journey to parenthood, I know I wish I had read something like this before I had my girls!

Be Lenient

This is a skill you’ll soon learn very quickly. But knowing you’ll have to be before the time comes does make the pill a little easier to swallow. In childbirth, the early days, into toddlerhood and no doubt beyond. There will be times when things don’t go to plan, you’ll need to be prepared not let go of your expectations and go with the flow.

Sleep when your baby sleeps

I can’t stress this enough. Guests present or not, you need to rest. Take every moment you can to get that rest, you’ll be all the better parent for it

One word, SWADDLE

Your baby is used to being all tucked up inside your very comfy uterus. Once out, their natural startle reflex can be confusing and more often than not will startle your baby out of their sleep. In my circumstances at least anyway, I found swaddling an unsettled baby really helped calm them down and keep them asleep for longer. I highly suggest the ergo swaddles or the Love to Dream, zippers are your friend. Traditional swaddles are fine of course, but when you have a Houdini on our hands, a zip could mean all the difference in the amount of sleep you get.

Don’t be afraid to do the (safe) things you said you wouldn’t

So what, you SAID you’d never use a dummy, or you’d not co-sleep, or you wouldn’t pick your baby up too much? Whatever feels right once your baby is here, so long as it is safe, is okay to do. Don’t beat yourself up over promises your non-parent self made… you were exactly that, NOT a parent. Sometimes doing those things you’d said you’d never do, helps more than you could imagine.

Be okay with saying “no”

If you’re anything like me, “no” is hardly in your vocabulary. But for sanity sake, if you need to refuse visitors, or refuse unsolicited advice, DO IT. Your baby, your time, your body… You just had a baby! Do not feel bad for putting your needs before others. And don’t feel bad about refusing advice that doesn’t suit the way you want to parent.

Take a moment for you as often as you can

It’s easy to get wrapped up in the world of a new baby. Don’t forget to take those moments to have a shower and just breathe. Wash your hair, shave your legs, clean your face… or whatever you like to do that makes you feel human. If someone is around get them to watch the baby for that time, or even if someone isn’t, I used to drag the tummy time mat into the bathroom and put Violet on it so I could have a couple of “mummy moments” to myself. They really are so imperative. You need to look after yourself just as much as you need to look after your baby

Talk when you’re not okay

There will be tough days, plenty of them. The hormones that surge your body after having a baby are beyond crazy, and they can leave you feeling anything but yourself for a while. Remember that it’s ok to feel the negative feelings sometimes, and it doesn’t make you a bad parent. Reach out as often as you can, you’ll find that a LOT of other people have gone through what you’re going through, you’re not alone. And if you do feel as though your feelings are beyond “just hormones” PLEASE seek help, you’re entirely worthy of receiving it, and you will always be worthy of happiness.

Walk away for a minute

Babies can cry for long periods of time, at times it can make you feel a little insane. If you’re having trouble coping or feeling frustrated, pop them down somewhere safe, like their cot, and walk away for a moment to somewhere you can’t hear them, only for a few moments. Just enough to breathe and remind yourself that this won’t be forever, they won’t cry forever. There will be peace and quiet again, just breathe mama, it’ll be okay.

Take all the photos, and spam all of your socials as much as you like. Your baby is beautiful and they’re all yours! Enjoy every moment, soak in that newborn smell and take comfort in knowing that that little baby is and always will be yours.

Xo Emily @ Loving Little One

Advertisements

Bittersweet Babyhood

These are the days, where we long for sleep and the simplest of tasks seem to take us half the week.

Where our patience tests us (our toddlers too), we wonder if we’re ever doing enough, and surely we do?

To keep them busy,

To keep them happy,

To fill their day with fun.

Whilst we feed, and we burp and we rock to sleep the newest little person, so little, like they were once.

With so much to do, and so little time, it’s a constant fear of missing the little things that often fills our minds.

So, I sit, a little longer than I should. One on my knee and one right beside.

I read three or four books more, even when she’s sleepy eyed.

We play outside a little bit passed dinner, and bath time is often a little bit late.

But our bellies are always full and there are always more games to play.

They’re only little for such a short time. And my heart grows a little heavy when I think about how they won’t always be little and by my side.

Though, that’s the bitter sweetness of it all, some day they’ll have their own little hands to hold.

So, for now I treasure every moment, cuddles and tantrums alike. And when I’m stuck on the couch for the fiftieth time with a baby that won’t settle and a toddler with an attitude as large as mine…

I’ll remember that these moments only last a very short while and no matter how big they get, they’ll forever be my babies- just like I am to those parents of mine.

Xo Emily @ LovingLittleOne.com

Two Weeks with Two Under Two

Holy heck. If that wasn’t the fastest fortnight of my entire life then I don’t know what was.

Matilda is two weeks old today. Which wells my heart and makes me teary at the same time. Mostly because I know that time won’t be slowing down any time soon.

Both of the girls have been amazing these past couple of weeks. Violet especially is beginning to shine in her new role as “big sister”. Although she is still yet to master the art of sharing, she really is making huge progress with her adjustment to having her little sister around.

I won’t fluff it for you, the first weekend for Vi was really tough. Tough on her and us. There were definitely a few contributing factors; excitement about visitors, lack of naps (because of the excitement about visitors), out of routine, staying with her grandparents… I could list a million things really. But she didn’t handle it too well to begin with. Don’t get me wrong, she was absolutely smitten with her little sister, but that first weekend was TOUGH. Now that we’re passed it though, and she’s had time to adjust without extra people around the house, she’s doing fantastically. Though still takes Matilda’s dummy occasionally.. she thinks it’s funny, I definitely don’t.

Matilda herself has been a little joy. I forgot how much newborns SLEEP! I WISH toddlers slept the way newborns do… all day, every day hahaha! But for the most part she’s a great little sleeper, besides the odd few hours at witching hour (shivers). She is quite a little bit more windy than Vi ever was (from what I can remember). But she really is slotting so easily into our little family.

I’m tired, of course. But I’m honestly one of the happiest sleep deprived people you will ever meet. Having my girls and my man all together these past few weeks has brought me nothing but teary eyed joy.

I often find myself trying to imprint all of these moments we’re having together in my memory forever. Violet hugging her tiny sister, Dan reading to them both whilst I make dinner. It’s the simple everyday moments… I try to grasp them as tightly as I can so not to ever forget them. They aren’t big significant moments by any means, but they’re heart warming, and so special.

I often find myself wondering if it’s possible at all to be any happier then what I am right now. If it is, then we certainly have a lot to look forward to.

And as quick as this update has been, I need sleep. But I’ll try to keep this regular. These are things I want to remember.

Xo Emily @ LovingLittleOne.com

30 Weeks Already?!

(I’m a little late in posting, as I wrote this a week ago and forgot to post it, but I’m 31 weeks and 3days today and in this photo)

I’m lying on my side whilst typing this on my laptop, not out of laziness but simply because it is the only position I currently feel even somewhat comfortable in.

Some how, out of the blue, I received a notification on my phone today from my baby centre app telling me that I’m now 30 weeks pregnant… excuse me!? I’m dumbfounded, if I’m being totally honest. But at the same time not surprised as I’ve been feeling increasingly less stoked about being a giant pregnant whale as the days pass, so its really no wonder we’ve reached the 30th week of our journey.

I don’t know if it’s my lack of memory from my pregnancy with Vi, or what but I genuinely feel so much more uncomfortable so much sooner this time around. My hips seem to have taken it upon themselves to age by 60 years or so within the space of about a week, so the pregnant lady waddle is now in full swing, as well as the midnight leg cramps and rather regular Braxton Hicks Contractions. Have any of you mummies felt the same way in your second/third/so on pregnancies?

I’m still craving sweet things, along with everything else that probably isn’t the healthiest for your body, but I do try to combat it with the consumption of fruit instead of muffins and cream buns (although both of those are still more regularly consumed then I’d like to admit). I take comfort in the fact that soon I will no longer be home to a tiny human and I’ll be capable of exercising regularly again. Weight has never been a major focal point for me, and as long as I’m within the expected weight gain range I don’t stress myself over it too much. After all, I am growing a human baby, it would be absurd to expect my weight not to fluctuate, regardless of what I’m eating. But I’m sitting at roughly 11kg gained at the moment so we’ll see where I end up by the end!

As one of my recent posts stated, we’ve just made a massive move from Brisbane to Central Queensland. So another source of exhaustion beyond this baby does exist, and I can’t blame it all on her. It’s been just over a full week since we made the move, and although we aren’t yet in our own place again (we’re staying with my parents for the minute) it has been a welcome change. As well as a chance to relax for a couple of weeks while we regather our bearings. The fresh air and open spaces really have been missed, so it is wonderful to be able to surround ourselves in the countryside once more.

As for the transfer with the pregnancy and everything, I still haven’t toured the hospital here yet! So the fact that I could be giving birth in the next 7 weeks or so definitely feels a little surreal at the moment. I have been transferred though so I’m now just waiting to hear from the hospital for my first scheduled appointment, which will hopefully be soon!

Overall things seem to be travelling smoothly, considering the circumstances. I doubt anyone would actively WANT to make a big move this late in a pregnancy, but it happened, and we survived! My morning sickness still hasn’t reappeared, so I’m taking that as a solid win. And despite being ridiculously HOT 24/7 (CQ for you!) and morbidly tired, I feel content for the most part, and count my lucky stars that Vi sleeps relatively well and still graces us with two naps a day (touch wood).

I’m so interested to see how Violet will respond to the arrival of our little Bean. We’ve been actively trying to engage her with the idea of a baby for the entire pregnancy, and she now has the word “bubby” down pact, and will gladly give my tummy kisses quite often. She’s been familiar with “gentle” for a long while now, considering we have always had pets in the house so I’m confident she’ll handle that aspect fairly well. But for the most part our journey to becoming a family of four is a wonderful mystery! I can’t wait to see it unfold.

So the countdown begins! And as little bean would say if she could speak,  “Ready or not, here I come!”

20 Weeks Deep

I really thought I would have posted before now, publicly anyway. But I’m sure if you’re a parent you’ll get me when I say “we’ve been so BUSY”. And not necessarily busy doing anything in particular, just busy with life. Life with a toddler, and life preparing for a new baby.

It astounds me to say that this week, I’m 20 weeks deep into my second pregnancy. In fact, it astounds me so much so that I can barely comprehend it. Half way through the journey to meeting our second bundle of love. A tiny little human who is just as much a little person as Vi is.

My brain honestly struggles to fathom it, it’s so hard to explain. But I’m sure if you’re a parent you’ll understand. You hold so much love for your first born that you question how you’ll be able to love any little babe just as much. But somehow you just know you will.

This pregnancy has been so incredibly different to my pregnancy with Violet, but also so similar. The sickness hit hard in the first few months, just like it did with Vi. And I can’t quite put my finger on whether it was more difficult in general, or just more difficult because I have a toddler. Maybe both? I was certainly more sick more often, and lost about the same amount of weight as I did with Violet in the beginning.

At about 12 weeks it fully subsided, which was certainly sooner than what it did with vi. And since then it has been mostly smooth sailing. Low blood pressure and iron plague me a little, but they do for most pregnant people and they’re easily managed so I am certainly not going to complain.

Violet has been nothing but her beautiful little self throughout this journey so far. She knows where “mummy’s baby” is, and loves to give the bump a little kiss and stroke every now and then. And whilst I was sick she would toddle along behind me to the bathroom and pat my back for me as I’d loose my lunch (and anything else I’d attempted to consume in the hours prior).

It’s definitely her journey I am interested in seeing! How she handles seeing such a little baby around the house, one that won’t leave and will become a part of our family. But I have endless amount of faith in her ability to adjust, and love this little one as much as she loves anyone dear to her (which anyone who knows her, knows her love comes in buckets full of cuddles and kisses).

It’s so strange, but some days I forget about the little baby growing inside of me. I’m so busy with life on the outside, teaching Violet about the world and watching her grow and play. It’s only when I feel a kick, or sit on the couch to relax that I remember there’s another little one joining us soon.

I have high hopes of continuing to share this journey with everyone, because I have been told by so many people that they’ve missed my little updates and stories. Which warms my heart because I really have missed sharing with you all.

So here’s to 20 weeks, and 17 months! 20 weeks of tiny babe, and 17 months of our gorgeous Vi.

xo Emily @ http://www.lovinglittleone.com

Our experience with bedtime and crying

Notice how the title doesn’t say “controlled crying” or “cry it out”. Yeah, I did that on purpose. Mainly because the method we use doesn’t have a name, we just did what felt right and what worked for us. If you read this and think, hey that actually is a method written about feel free to let me know! I’d love to read it.

Now this is a touchy subject. I’ve seen MANY heated discussions on bedtime methods and what people think is right and wrong for children. And I won’t deny the science or the methods out there in books and in documentaries but we decided quite early on that we would take parenting as a day to day thing, do what feels right and if and when it stops feeling right for us or our baby, we’d stop.

Until our daughter was 6 months old we had a pretty easy run, she would fall asleep in our arms and then we would move her to her cot and she would stay asleep until the next feed, whenever that may be. She never slept through but this is something we were and are still ok with. She would wake up at night, have a feed and nod straight back off to sleep. I’d either shift her back into her cot or enjoy a bit of co-sleep cuddles for the night, whatever felt right at the time.

After 6 months we started noticing her “bedtime” was getting later and later, because no matter how hard we tried, if she was being held around a light or tv or conversation, we was too curious to fall asleep. This posed an issue for us, because it meant I either had to go off to a dark room in silence and hold her until she fell asleep OR switch up our method. I endured 4 months of the first option before I’d decided enough was enough. And that’s when we introduced a proper, scheduled night time routine.

Kids LOVE routine. And we’d always had a rough routine of what order things are done in but never really set times. So we decided, start cooking dinner at 5:30, she eats by six, bath time by 6:30-7, book and bed before 7:30. “Bed” was into the cot with me beside her but not touching or talking to her.

The first few nights were tough. She sat and cried and cried at me, every 10 minutes or so I would give her a short little pat on the back and a reassuring “I love you” but I wouldn’t pick her up… she was tired and me picking her up would only prolong sleep. The first few nights it took about 30-40 minutes of crying. Not terrified crying, not hurt crying, not hysterical crying, just whingey tired crying.

Slowly but surely, the amount of time she would spend crying got shorter and shorter. After about 4 nights of the new routine she was only crying for 10 or so minutes. And by a week and a half I could walk into her room with her in my arms, place her down in the cot, pat her quietly for about 10 seconds or so, say I love you and leave the room with absolutely NO fussing or crying.

I was astonished. This was a child that hardly ever self soothed, now going to sleep almost entirely on her own, no fuss, and almost HAPPY to be going to bed.

Now I’m not here to preach, every baby is different and every parent will do things differently so I’m definitely not going to tell anyone what to do or that it will work for them. And I didn’t walk into this new routine thinking we’d see that much of a difference but HOLY, it has changed our lives. Our night times are almost completely stress free, beautiful in fact. My partner and I can enjoy alone time without fear of having to listen to tears, or trying to be quiet so she would go to sleep in my arms.

She doesn’t sleep through. She never has, but she’s easy to get back to sleep, so that’s never been a problem with us. I am just so surprised at how well this has worked for us.

I’d love to hear stories of bedtime success! No judgement from me either as to how you got there! It’s a long and tough journey but such a feat when you finally reach it. So share away in the comments!

Violet Rae 10-11 months

I feel like I say this every single time I write a post but it’s been a while so I’m going to say it again, where has the time gone?! The last few months have been so incredibly busy. As everyone would know we had Violets first Christmas just last month, but something that is new is SHE IS WALKING!

Her first steps happened on the day she turned 10 months, I mean, I’m not going to lie, they were a tad encouraged! However it only took her a month to figure out the whole balance thing and now nothing can stop her! Our house has become a madness of running and squealing and mess and just an entire bundle of fun really. I have to say it, we now officially have a toddler *sobs*.

Watching them learn and grow and take in the world around them is SUCH a gift. And I’m so incredibly thankful for it, but it’s gut wrenching how quickly the time passes without you even realising. I feel like it was just yesterday I was lying on an uncomfortable old hospital bed watching the most beautiful little baby I’d ever met sleeping right next to me for the first time.

I remember going to the shops with my mum without Violet for the first time since having her. I nearly bawled my eyes out. And now she’s an independent little miss, who’s quite happy to go to her grandparents without question for a few hours, or her Aunties or her uncles. Heck she’s even great with strangers if she sees me smile at them first. It’s crazy how much she has grown, and how they evolve from tiny, fragile little people who need you to hold their necks up to rampaging, enthusiastic little characters in only 12 months.

She knows what she wants and she lets you know it too! She’s absolutely food obsessed and is doing such a great job transitioning to her solids through the day, but is always up for a booby and a snuggle at midnight (and you read right, she’s not sleeping through yet, but I really don’t mind).

I really feel like I’m just spewing information at you all, but I have so much to say that I just can’t put into words. The last few months have been such incredible, challenging and honestly life changing months. Not only am I learning the ropes of toddler parenthood but so much is happening in our social lives as well surrounding our friends and family. This month we made the rash decision to send dan to FIJI! with his best friend Jeremy in only three weeks time. And although unfortunate events lead to it all happening, we’ve just taken the baton and started running full speed with it.

Not only are we planning last minute holidays but we are beginning to organise violets FIRST BIRTHDAY. That’s right, she is one in less then a month. Someone hold me upright… among present brainstorming and party planning ideas I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed and just over all losing it a bit. So I also chopped all my hair off 🤣 but don’t worry I’m not regretting it.

https://videos.files.wordpress.com/hvMBz019/img_2159.mov

Vi really has just become such a little girl in these last few months. I had felt so determined in the beginning to film everything and write everything down, but the truth is, enjoying the moment is so much more important. I’m still taking videos and photos, and when I get the time, like now, I love sitting down and reflecting on violets first few months. I’ve learnt over time not to promise anything on writing posts and whatnot, but what I do know is I have always enjoyed writing them. And although they may be inconsistent as hell at times, there will always be more to write and share with you all.

I can’t believe we’ve been on this journey for nearly two years. Blogging through my pregnancy, and about Violets birth and now we’re almost at the end of her first year! It never ceases to amaze me just how many of you beautiful people love hearing about our journey. We may have been young when we first found out we were expecting, but we have grown SO much, in ways almost impossible to explain, and parenthood has done nothing but make us stronger and happier people. So thank you all so much, for your constant words of engagement and endless love and patience. It means the world to me, I can’t wait to look back on this all one day and share it with Violet, to show her just how lucky we are to have a life full of so much love.

Xx Emily @ LovingLittleOne.com