The Hazy Days: Getting through the first month with a newborn

There is no doubt about it, bringing a child into the world will be one of the most incredible and most exhausting things you will ever experience in your life. I’d consider myself a bit of an old hand at it now, having done it twice, but that would mean I know what I’m doing. And let’s be honest, none of us do!

There are a few little things I’ve come across in my experiences that have at least made things a little easier. Hopefully this can help at one or two people out in their journey to parenthood, I know I wish I had read something like this before I had my girls!

Be Lenient

This is a skill you’ll soon learn very quickly. But knowing you’ll have to be before the time comes does make the pill a little easier to swallow. In childbirth, the early days, into toddlerhood and no doubt beyond. There will be times when things don’t go to plan, you’ll need to be prepared not let go of your expectations and go with the flow.

Sleep when your baby sleeps

I can’t stress this enough. Guests present or not, you need to rest. Take every moment you can to get that rest, you’ll be all the better parent for it

One word, SWADDLE

Your baby is used to being all tucked up inside your very comfy uterus. Once out, their natural startle reflex can be confusing and more often than not will startle your baby out of their sleep. In my circumstances at least anyway, I found swaddling an unsettled baby really helped calm them down and keep them asleep for longer. I highly suggest the ergo swaddles or the Love to Dream, zippers are your friend. Traditional swaddles are fine of course, but when you have a Houdini on our hands, a zip could mean all the difference in the amount of sleep you get.

Don’t be afraid to do the (safe) things you said you wouldn’t

So what, you SAID you’d never use a dummy, or you’d not co-sleep, or you wouldn’t pick your baby up too much? Whatever feels right once your baby is here, so long as it is safe, is okay to do. Don’t beat yourself up over promises your non-parent self made… you were exactly that, NOT a parent. Sometimes doing those things you’d said you’d never do, helps more than you could imagine.

Be okay with saying “no”

If you’re anything like me, “no” is hardly in your vocabulary. But for sanity sake, if you need to refuse visitors, or refuse unsolicited advice, DO IT. Your baby, your time, your body… You just had a baby! Do not feel bad for putting your needs before others. And don’t feel bad about refusing advice that doesn’t suit the way you want to parent.

Take a moment for you as often as you can

It’s easy to get wrapped up in the world of a new baby. Don’t forget to take those moments to have a shower and just breathe. Wash your hair, shave your legs, clean your face… or whatever you like to do that makes you feel human. If someone is around get them to watch the baby for that time, or even if someone isn’t, I used to drag the tummy time mat into the bathroom and put Violet on it so I could have a couple of “mummy moments” to myself. They really are so imperative. You need to look after yourself just as much as you need to look after your baby

Talk when you’re not okay

There will be tough days, plenty of them. The hormones that surge your body after having a baby are beyond crazy, and they can leave you feeling anything but yourself for a while. Remember that it’s ok to feel the negative feelings sometimes, and it doesn’t make you a bad parent. Reach out as often as you can, you’ll find that a LOT of other people have gone through what you’re going through, you’re not alone. And if you do feel as though your feelings are beyond “just hormones” PLEASE seek help, you’re entirely worthy of receiving it, and you will always be worthy of happiness.

Walk away for a minute

Babies can cry for long periods of time, at times it can make you feel a little insane. If you’re having trouble coping or feeling frustrated, pop them down somewhere safe, like their cot, and walk away for a moment to somewhere you can’t hear them, only for a few moments. Just enough to breathe and remind yourself that this won’t be forever, they won’t cry forever. There will be peace and quiet again, just breathe mama, it’ll be okay.

Take all the photos, and spam all of your socials as much as you like. Your baby is beautiful and they’re all yours! Enjoy every moment, soak in that newborn smell and take comfort in knowing that that little baby is and always will be yours.

Xo Emily @ Loving Little One

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Bittersweet Babyhood

These are the days, where we long for sleep and the simplest of tasks seem to take us half the week.

Where our patience tests us (our toddlers too), we wonder if we’re ever doing enough, and surely we do?

To keep them busy,

To keep them happy,

To fill their day with fun.

Whilst we feed, and we burp and we rock to sleep the newest little person, so little, like they were once.

With so much to do, and so little time, it’s a constant fear of missing the little things that often fills our minds.

So, I sit, a little longer than I should. One on my knee and one right beside.

I read three or four books more, even when she’s sleepy eyed.

We play outside a little bit passed dinner, and bath time is often a little bit late.

But our bellies are always full and there are always more games to play.

They’re only little for such a short time. And my heart grows a little heavy when I think about how they won’t always be little and by my side.

Though, that’s the bitter sweetness of it all, some day they’ll have their own little hands to hold.

So, for now I treasure every moment, cuddles and tantrums alike. And when I’m stuck on the couch for the fiftieth time with a baby that won’t settle and a toddler with an attitude as large as mine…

I’ll remember that these moments only last a very short while and no matter how big they get, they’ll forever be my babies- just like I am to those parents of mine.

Xo Emily @ LovingLittleOne.com

Two Weeks with Two Under Two

Holy heck. If that wasn’t the fastest fortnight of my entire life then I don’t know what was.

Matilda is two weeks old today. Which wells my heart and makes me teary at the same time. Mostly because I know that time won’t be slowing down any time soon.

Both of the girls have been amazing these past couple of weeks. Violet especially is beginning to shine in her new role as “big sister”. Although she is still yet to master the art of sharing, she really is making huge progress with her adjustment to having her little sister around.

I won’t fluff it for you, the first weekend for Vi was really tough. Tough on her and us. There were definitely a few contributing factors; excitement about visitors, lack of naps (because of the excitement about visitors), out of routine, staying with her grandparents… I could list a million things really. But she didn’t handle it too well to begin with. Don’t get me wrong, she was absolutely smitten with her little sister, but that first weekend was TOUGH. Now that we’re passed it though, and she’s had time to adjust without extra people around the house, she’s doing fantastically. Though still takes Matilda’s dummy occasionally.. she thinks it’s funny, I definitely don’t.

Matilda herself has been a little joy. I forgot how much newborns SLEEP! I WISH toddlers slept the way newborns do… all day, every day hahaha! But for the most part she’s a great little sleeper, besides the odd few hours at witching hour (shivers). She is quite a little bit more windy than Vi ever was (from what I can remember). But she really is slotting so easily into our little family.

I’m tired, of course. But I’m honestly one of the happiest sleep deprived people you will ever meet. Having my girls and my man all together these past few weeks has brought me nothing but teary eyed joy.

I often find myself trying to imprint all of these moments we’re having together in my memory forever. Violet hugging her tiny sister, Dan reading to them both whilst I make dinner. It’s the simple everyday moments… I try to grasp them as tightly as I can so not to ever forget them. They aren’t big significant moments by any means, but they’re heart warming, and so special.

I often find myself wondering if it’s possible at all to be any happier then what I am right now. If it is, then we certainly have a lot to look forward to.

And as quick as this update has been, I need sleep. But I’ll try to keep this regular. These are things I want to remember.

Xo Emily @ LovingLittleOne.com

What’s in my Hospital Bag – Mama Edition

I’ve had quite a few people message me recently about my lack of posting this. I do apologise it’s taken me so long to get up… better late than never though right? (Aaaand since beginning writing this I gave birth! Hahaha so it was delayed yet again… sorry!)

If it’s not already obvious, I pack a seperate bag for myself when it comes to hospital bags. I’m certain if you found a bag big enough you could cram it all into one, but having seperate bags has made it easier for me to determine exactly what we both need seperately. This post is about what I put in MY bag. If you’d like to read about what I pack for my baby you can read my previous post here

I’m sure I’ll probably miss items on this list, so, if you think of any that I’ve missed let me know! I’ll have to pop it in my bag before I go into labour (god, hopefully soon hahaha, sitting at 38 weeks and dying). I’ll do the same format, long paragraph about why I like/need the item and then a short description underneath so that if you’re in a hurry (or in LABOUR!) you can fly on through my babble.

let’s get started

1. Comfy black undies

I’ve started with something obvious, I’m aware. BUT I need to emphasise COMFY to you, after you’ve given birth the thought of anything other than comfortable underwear will terrify you. And why black you ask? well, remember the glorious 9 months you experienced without your monthly? She’s about to return, and she does NOT care about what colour underwear you’re wearing, but for stains sake, I’d choose black every time.

Any brand of black undies will do, I’d take a size up and pack at least 6 pairs (you’ll need the spares)

2. Maternity Pads

For that reason I was just talking about… You WILL need maternity pads. Even if you’re having a cesearan. I’m about to get a bit sciency so if you’re squeemish I give you permission to skip this part. But regardless of where you baby enters the world, they take with them (about 10-50 minutes after they’re born) their placenta, which was previously attatched to the side of your uterus. The exit leaves you with a little wound inside your womb (hahaha sorry, I had to), which will bleed like any other wound, I’m sure there are other reasons for the bleed and feel free to look them up if you’re curious, but to cut a long story short, maternity pads WILL be your friend, for the next 6 weeks or so. So do NOT forget them. I ended up having to use almost a whole packet whilst I was in labour as my waters had broken and leaked CONSTANTLY, so they’re great for that reason also.

I would recommend at least two packets. I find the Libra ones most comfortable but the U by Kotex brand is also quite decent. **DO NOT ATTEMPT TO USE TAMPONS- DON’T EVEN BOTHER PACKING THEM**

3. Shape-wear

And no, not because you’ll be hitting the town and need to suck in the love handles. Underwear with that EXTRA support really helped in those few weeks right after birth to feel that extra bit supported (and less like my insides were falling out). I have two kinds, ones that sit about half way below by belly button and ones that come well up and over it. The ones that come right up were excellent in the first few days, and I really can’t recommend them enough. While everything is super squishy and funny feeling they help you to feel like you have some kind of structure to yourself. The half way ones were just as good initally, and then even better by the time I was about 6 weeks post partum. I found I really didn’t need the support above my belly button after a couple of weeks so I preferred these later on.

Not essential but definitely something I highly recommend. Mine are from best and less, but you can find them pretty much anywhere that sells underwear. 2 pairs would be enough (I’ve packed 4 because I really loved them)

4. Comfortable Clothes

You’ll need comfortable clothing during and after labour. I’d suggest putting something aside at home that you can change into during your labour at home that you know you’ll be comfortable in. And have at least 2 outfits to wear in the hospital after bubs arrives. I LOVE nursing singlets. SO much easier than wearing a nursing bra with a shirt over the top. So I’ve packed two nursing singlets and two long comfy sets of pants. I chose long because generally it’s a little cooler in hospitals than the usual. I’ve packed a pair of short maternity pj pants as well just in case but I don’t see myself using them. It’s important to remember that you most definitely won’t be back to a normal size right after birth, in fact you’ll probably still fit snuggly into your maternity wear, so do stick to things that will fit even with a postpartum bump. As much as I know you’ll want to jump back into your favourite pre baby pjs.

At least two sets of comfy clothes, I prefer nursing singlets and long comfy pants for the cooler climate of the hospital. 

5. Toiletries

Obvious again, but you’d be surprised how easily they’re forgotten. My fool proof method of NOT forgetting your toiletries is to pack minis and leave your everyday stuff at home. Mini toothbrush, mini tooth paste, mini shampoo and conditioner, mini deoderant… all of it. It’ll just mean that you can have it all there in the bag ready to go, and you won’t have to do a last minute pack of all of the things you normally use daily. I’d also suggest packing some dry shampoo as well as some lip blam. Dry shampoo to help you feel just that bit fresher, and lip blam because hospitals are surprisingly drying! Trust me, you’ll thank me later

Packing minis is a great way to ensure you don’t forget anything, dry shampoo and lip blam are also a must (in the ways of comfort anyway)

6. Towels

The hospital will have these, but spoiler alert, they’re thin and don’t do their job as “towel” very well. So save yourself the heartache and bring along your own. I’ve packed two, and when I say packed, I just popped them in the back of the car (no use in having them take up room in the bag). The reason I’ve packed two is so that Dan also has one if he needs it, he might want to shower or he also might get into the birth pool with me if I’m able to use it. And, if he doesn’t use it, I probably will anyway. I’d also suggest putting an EXTRA spare towel in your boot, I know when my waters broke with Vi there is no way I would have gotten to the hospital without drenching the car if I hadn’t had a towel, and you don’t want to have to use the towels you originally packed for showering with.

A towel for you, a towel for your birth partner and a SPARE for the car. Put them all in your boot preemptively, no point in having them in your bag taking up space. 

7. Breast Pads

It’s not very common for your milk to come in right away, so this might not be something you don’t end up using, but if you do end up having an extended stay and your milk DOES come in, you will NEED these. Or you’ll constantly soaking through your bras and clothes. I used the New Beginnings brand when I had Violet, and loved it. I’ve packed the hydrogel ones this time just because I had some left over from before that I must have been given. I plan to use washable ones once we’re home, I didn’t with Vi because I didn’t really know anything about them but it will definitely save you money in the long run to use reusables. You can find them on Ebay super super cheap!

One box should be fine, you might not even end up using them.

8. Camera/Phone and charger

Most people use their phone as a camera these days, so it’s unlikely you’ll forget that. BUT don’t forget your charger on your way out, I nearly did the second time around.

Obviously

9. A cardigan or jumper

It really does get quite cold in the hospital. Having something you’re able to chuck over your shoulders is really handy. Especially if you’re someone that is prone to feeling the cold more than usual.

Something that either has a zipper or is open- it’ll make breastfeeding easier

10. Your Birth Plan

Some people think birth plans are silly and unrealistic. I have to disagree. It is always best to have a plan in place, for both the ideal birth AND emergency. Even if you just jot down a few points you’re firm on that way you can give it to your birth partner who can inform the midwife if they’re able to. Simple things like prolonged cord clamping, skin to skin etc, whatever you feel you really want for your baby can be added to it. Try and discuss the plan with your midwife at your antenatal appointments beforehand, and they should be able to help you determine what will be best for you. Having an emergency plan as well is great, and also gives you a bit of piece of mind that if things do end up that way, you still had some kind of input with yours and your babies care.

Even just a small page of notes to give to your midwife.

11. Something to wear home

I mean, realistically you can just wear the comfy clothes home if you want! But if you want to feel a little chic and groovy on your way out, pack a specific outfit. Remember to make sure you’ll be able to breast feed in it. I wore a button up dress this time from Old Navy, UNBELIEVABLY comfortable. Plus I felt a little more human after spending two whole days in my pyjamas. (You can pack makeup too if you’re one of those people! Nothing wrong with it at all. I didn’t because I knew I just wouldn’t feel like it, and I was right, I didn’t feel like it at all… I’d just pushed a baby out)

Something comfy but acceptable to wear in public. Or PJs, whatever floats your boat

I’m almost certain I’ve missed some things in this list… partly because I’ve written it over the space of about 5 weeks, and also partly because I’m now sleep deprived as heck with a newborn asleep on my chest. But what can you do. It’s a work in progress. I can always come back and add to this if I need to. And if you think of anything I’ve missed, let me know! And I’ll add it

(I do have photos I’ll add to this in the morning.. I’m currently lying in bed and can’t be bothered to go and get the camera and transfer the photos over right now)

Xo Emily @ LovingLittleOne.com

30 Weeks Already?!

(I’m a little late in posting, as I wrote this a week ago and forgot to post it, but I’m 31 weeks and 3days today and in this photo)

I’m lying on my side whilst typing this on my laptop, not out of laziness but simply because it is the only position I currently feel even somewhat comfortable in.

Some how, out of the blue, I received a notification on my phone today from my baby centre app telling me that I’m now 30 weeks pregnant… excuse me!? I’m dumbfounded, if I’m being totally honest. But at the same time not surprised as I’ve been feeling increasingly less stoked about being a giant pregnant whale as the days pass, so its really no wonder we’ve reached the 30th week of our journey.

I don’t know if it’s my lack of memory from my pregnancy with Vi, or what but I genuinely feel so much more uncomfortable so much sooner this time around. My hips seem to have taken it upon themselves to age by 60 years or so within the space of about a week, so the pregnant lady waddle is now in full swing, as well as the midnight leg cramps and rather regular Braxton Hicks Contractions. Have any of you mummies felt the same way in your second/third/so on pregnancies?

I’m still craving sweet things, along with everything else that probably isn’t the healthiest for your body, but I do try to combat it with the consumption of fruit instead of muffins and cream buns (although both of those are still more regularly consumed then I’d like to admit). I take comfort in the fact that soon I will no longer be home to a tiny human and I’ll be capable of exercising regularly again. Weight has never been a major focal point for me, and as long as I’m within the expected weight gain range I don’t stress myself over it too much. After all, I am growing a human baby, it would be absurd to expect my weight not to fluctuate, regardless of what I’m eating. But I’m sitting at roughly 11kg gained at the moment so we’ll see where I end up by the end!

As one of my recent posts stated, we’ve just made a massive move from Brisbane to Central Queensland. So another source of exhaustion beyond this baby does exist, and I can’t blame it all on her. It’s been just over a full week since we made the move, and although we aren’t yet in our own place again (we’re staying with my parents for the minute) it has been a welcome change. As well as a chance to relax for a couple of weeks while we regather our bearings. The fresh air and open spaces really have been missed, so it is wonderful to be able to surround ourselves in the countryside once more.

As for the transfer with the pregnancy and everything, I still haven’t toured the hospital here yet! So the fact that I could be giving birth in the next 7 weeks or so definitely feels a little surreal at the moment. I have been transferred though so I’m now just waiting to hear from the hospital for my first scheduled appointment, which will hopefully be soon!

Overall things seem to be travelling smoothly, considering the circumstances. I doubt anyone would actively WANT to make a big move this late in a pregnancy, but it happened, and we survived! My morning sickness still hasn’t reappeared, so I’m taking that as a solid win. And despite being ridiculously HOT 24/7 (CQ for you!) and morbidly tired, I feel content for the most part, and count my lucky stars that Vi sleeps relatively well and still graces us with two naps a day (touch wood).

I’m so interested to see how Violet will respond to the arrival of our little Bean. We’ve been actively trying to engage her with the idea of a baby for the entire pregnancy, and she now has the word “bubby” down pact, and will gladly give my tummy kisses quite often. She’s been familiar with “gentle” for a long while now, considering we have always had pets in the house so I’m confident she’ll handle that aspect fairly well. But for the most part our journey to becoming a family of four is a wonderful mystery! I can’t wait to see it unfold.

So the countdown begins! And as little bean would say if she could speak,  “Ready or not, here I come!”

It’s a GIRL – 27 weeks

Lots has been happening in our life the past couple of weeks, hence the lack of update.

But if you’re on my socials you probably would have seen our gender announcement! And if you’re not, as the title suggests we’ll be meeting our second little girl in November! Which is absolutely crazy. Clearly I was outbid in the “wait until birth or have a gender reveal” debate. Though I will admit we had an absolute blast at the reveal, and we are really stoked to welcome another little girl to our family. See the pictures below for the awesome results of the reveal thanks to Nan-ma Dee and Aunty Em!

The last couple of weeks I have become increasingly uncomfortable. After all, we are just about to bid the second trimester goodbye and fly into our third and final! Ridiculousness if you ask me… I honestly don’t know where the last few months have gone. But of course, all of the toilet trips, cramped legs and sleepless nights will only increase from here on out! And as inconvenient as they are, I’m still feeling incredibly blessed that I’m able to carry our second baby girl.

I thought I should address the question that I’ve been asked a million times since the Sunday of our gender reveal; “Are you disappointed at all that you’re having another girl?”, and the answer is absolutely not. The image of the “perfect family” seems to be very engrained into peoples minds; a boy and a girl. But we’re not in anyway disappointed, Vi is the light of our lives and we’re certain that this little girl will bring us just as much happiness and joy, in equal amounts as what a little boy would bring.

It can also be quite frustrating just how many people who ask “so how does Dan feel about having two girls?”, because of course he is excited and happy. He is a fantastic dad to one little girl, and he’ll be just as fantastic with two daughters. We may welcome more children into our family some time down the road, but for now we’ll have our two girls and life will be just the way it’s always meant to have been for us.

To be frank with you all, I think we’re both feeling a little relieved. We have an entire storage cupboard of girls clothes all ready for when this little one arrives, and we don’t have to stress about learning the ropes all over again with a tiny newborn with a ballsack that requires adequate wiping. Win-win right?

Obviously I’d love for Dan to get to experience having a son. And I honestly have no doubt in my mind that it will happen for us one day. But for now at least, baby days will be on hold until the girls are a little older and we have a little bit more of our lives in order.

So many changes are happening, and if you’ve read my latest post you’ll know that we’re making the move to Central Queensland from Brisbane in just a couple of weeks time. This means I’ll be birthing at a different hospital, and we’ll be bringing our little girl home to a completely different house. The prospect of these things has been stressful of course, but we’re looking forward to the future with optimism.

For now life consists of being kicked in the ribs, trying to get Vi to take her naps properly and packing boxes. But also the delightful things like toddler kisses, new words and Vis wonder at my tummy and her little sister that is growing safely inside.

In my pregnancy with Vi, at 27 weeks I was exactly 10 weeks and 5 days away from meeting our little honey! And now the countdown is on to meet our second. We can’t wait to smother you with love little one.

Xo Emily @ LovingLittleOne.com

20 Weeks Deep

I really thought I would have posted before now, publicly anyway. But I’m sure if you’re a parent you’ll get me when I say “we’ve been so BUSY”. And not necessarily busy doing anything in particular, just busy with life. Life with a toddler, and life preparing for a new baby.

It astounds me to say that this week, I’m 20 weeks deep into my second pregnancy. In fact, it astounds me so much so that I can barely comprehend it. Half way through the journey to meeting our second bundle of love. A tiny little human who is just as much a little person as Vi is.

My brain honestly struggles to fathom it, it’s so hard to explain. But I’m sure if you’re a parent you’ll understand. You hold so much love for your first born that you question how you’ll be able to love any little babe just as much. But somehow you just know you will.

This pregnancy has been so incredibly different to my pregnancy with Violet, but also so similar. The sickness hit hard in the first few months, just like it did with Vi. And I can’t quite put my finger on whether it was more difficult in general, or just more difficult because I have a toddler. Maybe both? I was certainly more sick more often, and lost about the same amount of weight as I did with Violet in the beginning.

At about 12 weeks it fully subsided, which was certainly sooner than what it did with vi. And since then it has been mostly smooth sailing. Low blood pressure and iron plague me a little, but they do for most pregnant people and they’re easily managed so I am certainly not going to complain.

Violet has been nothing but her beautiful little self throughout this journey so far. She knows where “mummy’s baby” is, and loves to give the bump a little kiss and stroke every now and then. And whilst I was sick she would toddle along behind me to the bathroom and pat my back for me as I’d loose my lunch (and anything else I’d attempted to consume in the hours prior).

It’s definitely her journey I am interested in seeing! How she handles seeing such a little baby around the house, one that won’t leave and will become a part of our family. But I have endless amount of faith in her ability to adjust, and love this little one as much as she loves anyone dear to her (which anyone who knows her, knows her love comes in buckets full of cuddles and kisses).

It’s so strange, but some days I forget about the little baby growing inside of me. I’m so busy with life on the outside, teaching Violet about the world and watching her grow and play. It’s only when I feel a kick, or sit on the couch to relax that I remember there’s another little one joining us soon.

I have high hopes of continuing to share this journey with everyone, because I have been told by so many people that they’ve missed my little updates and stories. Which warms my heart because I really have missed sharing with you all.

So here’s to 20 weeks, and 17 months! 20 weeks of tiny babe, and 17 months of our gorgeous Vi.

xo Emily @ http://www.lovinglittleone.com